Sea Of Hope (ENGINEER'S LEAGUE SERIES 1)

31 - Gigising Na Ako

“Mommy!” I saw no one as I open the door of mom and dad’s room. I glanced back hazily before I closed the door shut.

Pagkababa ko ng hagdan ay nakita ko si  manang Lucille.

“Manang Lucille, where is mommy?” She looked me back puzzled.

“Di ko alam Gregg e. . . di ko na napansin. Aysige ha, at ako’y may niluluto kasi may bisita yata ang mommy mo mamaya.”

I nodded intemperantly.

Mom’s car is outside. Where did she went then?

Hawak ko ang certificate of award dahil sa pagkakapanalo ko sa math quiz bee nung school namin at palakad na papunta sa huling kwarto na sa tingin ko ay posibleng naroon si mommy.

I am a meter distant from the door when I stomped my feet off against the floor. I took a step halfway of what I used to take. With the sounds of breaking glasses just deafening around my ears. . . it’s tainting me. And with every pieces of glass that shattered when reached the hard wall or a marble floor, it breaks my heart for mommy.

With my seven-year-old mind, I know everything about mommy being heart broken for so many times. When just a simple news about dad being with Criselda despite being married with mommy, I was raged. No, I’m raging in hatred for him.

Kaya nung sumigaw na si mommy na puno ng sakit ay tinakbo ko na ang pintuan at saglit na napatigil nung tumambad sa harap ko ang iba’t ibang basag na vase . . . . pati na rin ang malaking picture frame nila ni daddy nung kasal.

But my mind was already occupied with fact that those broken glasses may hurt mommy’s hand. She’s a doctor, and I know how she take a good care of her hand because ideally, it’s her life. A passion for life. And I don’t want that simply greedy and political climber person like dad were ruined mommy for life also at once.

“Mommy, y-your hand.” I was hysterically grasp it and put above her heart to stop from bleeding.

“A-Anak.” For a young age, seeing mommy with that state taught me somehow that it’s painful to love someone in almost of your life out.

Gustuhin ko mang maging masaya dahil sa pagmamahal ni mommy kay daddy ay di ko magawa. Dahil sa sakit na nararanasan ni mommy while loving daddy deeply, it emotionally flattened me. My heart and all of my feelings, I should’ve throw it away . . . . .

But not until I met her . . . her soft voice and fine gesture. Her sad eyes and gloomy face. Her shrugged shoulder and down casted head, she got me with all of that.

Her pretty nose and cheek, a flawless skin and a baby smell that sting inside my nose. It’s killing me. Killing me not to have her that night and with fact that everyone may have her every night and so far, now . . . para na ‘kong nilulunod agad sa dagat. It suffocates me. That’s why I offered her that big, para umalis na sya dun. Para kung sakali man, ako lang. And I wanna made sure na ako lang.

“Ganda oh . . .”

Napalingon na rin ako sa babaeng tinutukoy ni Jeko matapos yung ibulong kay Chris, obviously na wala namang pakialam yung isa.

A petite body when I think I squirmed her body beneath me, I’ll engulfed her.

Pero di ko makita ang mukha dahil sa dim light at bukod dun, palage syang nakatungo.

Her long black hair just covered half of her side face. It’s shining when lights just brushed off around her area.

I smirked upon knowing I could have her. . . wala akong pakialam kung di sya pwedeng ikama kung di nya gusto. Basta I could have her . . . . before this night ends.