Beneath Your Smile (The Old And The New Series #1)

Kabanata 40

Kabanata 40

After Jesiah said those words nawalan ako bigla ng gana sa lahat-lahat. Even entertaining men didn't enter on my mind.

In my fourth year in college, I didn't entertain boys as much as I would think I would. Hindi ko alam kung busy lang ba ako no'n sa pagdidisenyo o nawalan talaga ako ng lakas na kumausap ulit ng iba.

Just the mere thought of going back again to the small details about your life and telling it to another person was draining my energy down. Ayaw ko na. Nakakasawa.

"So, what are your plans after graduation?" si Jesiah habang nasa sasakyan kami nito.

Sinundo niya ako sa eskuwelahan kahit na pinagkukumpulan siya ng mga tao roon. He's a famous model now. Naging salungat sa kurso nito na civil engineering ang naging trabaho niya after college.

At dahil tumigil ako ng isang taon at dapat graduate na rin sana ngayon, ay naiwan ako. Lucia, Darko, and Jesiah graduated and already out of the school. Ako na lang ang naiwan sa aming apat at panay na pinag-uusapan.

Jesiah is a famous model. Lucia is a preschool teacher. And Darko, he is in law school. Natapos niya ang kursong Political Science sa school namin. Toden and his course were the same.

Jesiah should be in Manila now pero hindi nito sinipot ang flight niya para lang pumunta sa school namin. He has a scheduled shoot for tomorrow for a clothing store in Manila. Pero sabi nito kanina na mamayang umaga na lang siya aalis at gusto pa raw akong makasama.

Being the model of L. Santiago's men's clothes brought him to where he is right now. Dagdagan pa ng sipag nito at determinasyon. Pinagsabay niya ang pagiging modelo, paglalaro ng basketball, at ang pagiging engineering student sa buong apat na taon nito sa school namin.

I didn't entertain anyone else except for Jesiah. Hindi totally na in-entertain dahil magkasama at magkaibigan naman kami. It was already given for him to know what's happening in my life. Pero siya lang ang pinapayagan kong manligaw sa akin. For almost four years na panliligaw, ni hindi ko ito naisipan na sagutin. I didn't have the drive to do that.

Marami ang nagtangka at marami rin ang umuwi kasama ang hindi magandang balita na binigay ko sa kanila. Lucia was always smirking if she saw a man being turned down by me.

I'm still not ready to enter another relationship. Not now that I am still stuck in the past. Now that I'm still constantly thinking of Demetrio and weighing him and Jesiah on who was better. I need to be over in this bullshit I'm in before giving Jesiah a chance to finally have me. But the sad part is... I can't see him the way I see Demetrio... My first and only love...

How is he? Is he doing fine? How is his family doing now? Saan na ba siya ngayon? Is he still breathing? Has he already finished college? Nag-aaral pa ba siya? Does he know what happened to me? What was happening to me?

I shook my head. It was such a disgrace that I'm thinking of Demetrio while I am inside of Jesiah's car.

Wake up, Eanne!

"Masakit ba ang ulo mo?" he asked. Maybe he saw me shaking my head.

Umiling ulit ako. "N-No. May iniisip lang, uh... What was your question again? I'm sorry," I said.

"I was asking you what are your plans after graduation?" ulit nito at tumawa nang bahagya.

"Oh, that..." I chuckled awkwardly. "I... don't know. Maybe designing home furniture again? Mom offered me to be the interior designer of the new building they wanted to build at Mandurriao. I am still not sure about that 'cause I also have other projects outside the country."