The Truth About Friendships

19. Developed Feelings

I've come to the conclusion that what I did earlier was out of line. Ren felt genuinely concerned for me, and I pushed away. I always push away my feelings. And I know that's not good, but I just hate opening up.

I hate showing that I'm weak in front of people. Because every time I did, they'd try to take advantage of that.

However, Ren. I trust Ren. Maybe I didn't before, but now I do. He might come off as an arrogant asshole, but deep down he's someone who cares about the people around him. Which is why I don't want us to lose our friendship.

These thoughts have been keeping me up for the rest of today. I couldn't sleep until I got closure from him.

Using my impulse, I left my dorm and went out to go to his.

What will you do if Danny's there?

It is pretty late at night right now... so I guess it would look wrong. But I'm only here to apologize.

Besides, it's too late. My mind is made up.

I let out an exhale before I reached their door.

"Open up, Ren. I know you're in there." I knocked on the door of his dorm that he shared with Danny.

I stopped once I heard someone approaching. I waited for the door to open and was greeted by a half-naked Ren.

His hair was all messy and wet, and his face was a faint shade of red. The top half of his body was glistening because it appeared to be still wet. The bottom half was wrapped in a towel. I tried my best not to look in that area. God, this seems like deja vu.

"I'm- I'm so sorry. This seems like a bad time for you..." I couldn't think straight seeing him in this state.

"No- No... you're fine." He seemed to be caught off guard as well.

"Um... what are you doing here?" He ran his fingers through his silky, wet hair.

"Is Danny here?" I asked him.

"Is that why you came? To see Danny?" His face almost dropped into disappointment, but he gave me that fake smile he's been doing a lot lately.

"No, it's not. But is he?" I say.

"No. He's not." He folded his arms.

"So, can I come in?" I asked.

"Oh? Um... sure... I guess." He slowly opened the door for me.

I walked in slowly and observed the place.

This was my first time being at Ren's dorm. Everything in there was either black or red. No in-between. And it was filled with a bunch of paintings and books that I think belonged to him.

"Are these yours?" I asked him, pointing to the paintings.

"Yeah. They're just some... paintings I do when I want to express myself." He cleared his throat while watching me carefully.

I picked one particular one that caught my interest.

"What's this one?" I ask, giving him my attention. The painting was of a person drawn in black paint. The person seemed to be filled with emotion. I couldn't quite tell if they were happy, sad, or frustrated. That's what makes it so intriguing.

His eyes widened, and he lowered his head in embarrassment.

"Oh, that one's pretty recent, actually." He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head.

"What emotion does this express?" I ask him.

"Um... confusion? Lust? Feelings? It's pretty complex. I mean... it's pretty bad anyway, you don't have to-"