Regardless

Chapter 16: I believe in you.

 I hope y'all are well and healing from anything needed.

Tuesday 22nd June.

I sat on a stool at the island, looking a mess while watching Jahseh make breakfast at 11:00. It's Tuesday and I'm honestly fed up with the week. He hummed along to the soft rap music he had playing in the background. My hair was already a mess and though I've only once smoked, I'm ready to do it again. My anxiety and pain went away and I was also able to enjoy some time with my man.

Kym suddenly badges in. She's wearing a three-piece suit with simple make-up. 

"Yall...I look good..or I look good?" she starts with no greeting and spins confidently, nodding her head.

"You look goo-"I started but Jahseh interrupts, waving a spatula at her, "Mayne. Y'all walk up in here like y'all own the place and ion like that. One of these days...Imma start shooting the walkway and y'all is finna die. STOP IT!" he talked to her in a motherly yet gangsta fashion.

"Okay pastor John. I hear you!" she rolls her eyes as she sits a few seats away from me.

"Where are you heading looking so fine?" I questioned after a small chuckle at their short-lived banter.

"Girl to the court. Apparently, you aren't supposed to stab your rapist's mother 17 times when she says you deserved it...but between me and you, if I didn't do it, she would've died of ugly on her own real soon."

My eyes nearly bulged out, "How are you so calm?"

"My dawg got me. He can't live without me so he finna fix up the judge. Right whitey?" she called on Jahseh who was stirring something in a pan.

"I don't know if I want you in my life anymore. You talk too much." Jahseh gave her the hand with a smirk.

She finally turned to face me and gasped," Girlll...what attacked you...why your face bruised. I get the freaky shit but how freaky does it get? It looked like it hurt. Damnnn! Bro handled that!"

I blushed, knowing it would make it awkward if I said anything.

I avoided bringing up the topic of going to the OBGYN with Jahseh but called mine anyway as soon as Jahseh left the kitchen with Kym.

"Hi, Dr.Laura, It's Daniella...I'm calling to find out about the pills you told me I could take if I had problems again."

"What did you do? I told you masturbating once a week is enough."

" I didn't do anything," 

"Save it. You are not supposed to masturbate till you are in pain. I understand the underlying issues but Daniella, it's not healthy."

"Oh, my god. I didn't do that. Not that it's your business ma'am, I pay you. Remember that. I don't care if you're my mother's friend." I hung up, shaking my head. I was wrong but everything is annoying me.

I struggle with hypersexuality from time to time. Okay well, all the time but I don't want to deal with that right now.

Jahseh and I sat on the couch after we both showered separately. This one time, we had a Trinidadian cook named Malinda and she told me to never bathe with someone while on my period or cross over a man during that time, saying it brings blight. Considering I was fourteen and she was teaching me to cook what she called, 'real food' because thought that American food had no flavor, that sticks with me. I miss her a lot. She gave me her address to visit her if I ever went to Trinidad.