Regardless

Chapter 20:I Won.

Jahseh and I were lying on the floor, looking up at the ceiling.  

"Thanks for being here for me," he said

"Never an issue b. Maybe we can talk all about it"

"Yeah, I guess so. Whenever we alone and shit."

"Maybe when we get home we can-" I started but he smiled hard at me saying, "Where's home?"

"Wherever you at dumbo..."I gave him a look.

"Damn...but I be at my house, that means my house is your house," he smirked, "You really like a nigga huh?"

"Jahseh! I told your ass that five times in the last hour, Yes I like you, dummy, "I snapped at him

"I'm just playing, I'm glad you feel that way."

We went to dinner by the poolside after fooling around a bit. The food was so delicious. I moaned every time I took a bite and Jahseh glared at me. During the entire thing, the group's banter filled the air. Everyone sat down in their little groups afterward though we were near each other. Jahseh and I were the quietest out of all. Erica, Kian, and Kym were talking or arguing about something until they practically dragged her up to the front of all of us with them, a blush coating her light cheeks. She was wearing a pair of shorts and a flowy silk top with sandals.

She grabbed her hand from Kym but Kian just tightened his grip. She covered her face in embarrassment and I snickered, having an idea of what was going on. Money and Shaniah looked at them with blank expressions.

"We're pregnant," Kian stated plainly pointing to his side and I could see Erica groan.

Everyone was dead silent until Money and I burst out laughing. Shaniah immediately smacked us upside the head. Jahseh's face in a scowl.

Through fits of laughter, Money choked out," I told you Niahh, them two was fucking!" he paused for a bit, "But Kym...why is your lesbianvaginahavingass up there too?"

"We're pregnant," Kym repeated with a smile. Shaniah and I watched each other, and then I turned to Jahseh who was mumbling something about 'letting her ass go to jail'.

"No, none of you are pregnant. I MIGHT be pregnant, Can we go on now, You all at like kids," Erica finally speaks.

"N-"before Kian could start, Money spoke to him, "I thought you were pregnant dawg but that's fine, shawty cool."

"Can y'all stop? I have to wait for a month again to tell, "Erica defended.

Kian started again, "Can y'all believe I asked her to Marry and she said no?"

Erica laughed, "I'm moving away, far away. AWAY AWAY. SpongeBob!All of your people are crazy," and with that, she walked back to her chair.

"Next time, I'm leaving all y'all asses home. I don't like y'all muddafukas anymore. Baby let's go, "Jahseh shook his head holding my hand.

We walked out the gate and hill. We went by this little shack looking place to get some weed and then we sat by the lookout which was a good way up but the walk was worth the view. When we finished smoking, I sent a message to his phone and then picked it up to reply myself because of how quiet he was. It's the weed, I promise. 

My face lit up when I see he had me saved under 'Mrs. Smith'. I quickly put his phone back, still smiling at what I saw.

"Don't bust yo cheeks. You wifey, you know that."

"I hear you."

"Mhmm. What did you want to be when you were younger?"

"Man...You finna laugh at a nigga..I wanted to sing but my father shut me up real quick."

"Sing for me."

"Nah...I'm cool...ain't good at that shit."

"I ain't finna bug you...but I know you'll come around."

"Maybe...I'm glad you're getting to become a designer though, you deserve it."

"You act like you got no time, "I looked over at him.

"That dream's dead to me. My father killed a whole lot of shit for me."

"He covered it up, if it dies is up to you...I get it though."

"You might not know it yet Daniella, but you got a good heart, you just tainted by the guilt of shit you ain't responsible for."

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that-"

"I would," he looked out at the city below us. The glistening lights are almost blinding yet still tame compared to home. The air was lighter, I felt free. This one part of me wanted to jump and the other wanted to savor this moment. 

I couldn't answer. I wanted to tell him that I loved him or I think that I love him but I'm scared of his answer. I gave him a tight-lipped smile, deep in thought. He walked to the edge of the cliff, moving around the almost pointless barrier.

"I'm conflicted. I don't know if I want to jump or if I want to stay here forever, "I randomly stated, "I'm not accustomed to all this peace at once, "I join him.

"Choose. Imma come with you."

"Why come this far to quit?"

"Life dealt its cards, I didn't win you first but I got you. If you go, What am I staying fo?"

"I love you,"I said to him.

"I love you too Daniella."

I hugged him, my head laying on his chest, the rest of my body flush against him as his arms snaked around me, "I won, "I whispered into his chest.

A/N:

This chapter is dedicated to my dear friend Leonardo.  

I miss you more than you'll ever know. I am not sure of how to deal with your absence. And while I know that it makes me selfish, I can't shake wanting you back all the time. I'm happy that you no longer have to deal with all the pain of your dealt cards though and I hope God healed your being. Thanks for loving my crazy ass, even if we just had a short time. I pray for the guidance of your soul. 

Rest easy.

 Yours Always..