Regardless

Chapter 15: ''Are you sure?"

Monday 21st June.

I got exams some months away and school is a mess.  I don't get time to edit that much, so bear with me. 

I woke up feeling Jahsehs's hard chest under my head. My brain was shaking at the sudden intrusion of light in my eyes as flashbacks from last night filled my head. His tight grip around me only reminded me more of all the positions he put me in, the way he held my body and lingered on my sensitive areas. My core and my legs felt sore and gelly-like. I had no regrets though. I loved every moment of it.

"Good morning," I heard in a raspy voice. My eyes shut up to his face, answering him while he smiled down at me, his eyes holding a tinge of guilt.

"Last night was good," I spoke up. 

"It was," he replied but I knew he wanted to say something else also.

"What's wrong?"I ask, moving away from him, already setting myself up for the worst.

"Imma say sum and I need you to really hear me," he paused for a bit and went on, "I care about you a lot Daniella... and while I don't regret last night, I want you to see me and all I come with before we do this before you give me your all. If we don't then we'll crash and Ion want that. I need to know you first also. It don't sit right with me that all I know is your pain, I want know you. And you ain't your pain..." he lowered his voice as if he didn't want to hurt me.

"get to know you while I find me basically?"

"Yeah ma"

"So no more kissing?"

"Ion say that! You know what I mean, not everything" he brought his face towards a now sitting me.

I blocked him off with my hand, "Ahttt Ahhttt...You dicked me down 'til four this morning and then you want to slow down. Deprive me after you get me hooked. I'll kiss you again when I feel like it!"

"Imma go get it elsewhere."

"Pfftt, I'm single too boyy...plus I'll cut you and that bitch."

"Stop tryna be gangsta, I'm finna make us breakfast," He left, wearing just his briefs. I cringed at the long scrapes on his back, some even crossing over his long scar. Hell, I was missing two nails, one of my locs laid on the floor and some were unwrapping from what I could feel and see.

I sat on the bed for a while but a weird stirring at the pit of my stomach and a weird pooling at my core rose me up. 

I.

Hate.

My.

Life!

I looked back on his bed to see a large spot of blood where I sat and a trail where I dragged myself off. My period didn't have to come todayyyy. That shit's finna be here for two weeks to make up for the time it wasn't here. And it's always heavy as hell. I cant do anything when it is here. Just gotta change a pad every thirty minutes.

I wrapped a towel around me, put the sheets in the washing machine, and then went to take a shower. Thankfully the mattress wasn't damaged. 

My neck however was terribly bruised. I look as if I was attacked and nearly strangled to death. Prints from his rings left blue-black marks on my ass, neck, hips, ankles, and surprisingly, breasts? Ion know. I got roughed the fuck up but I felt content. 

Well for the most part. My period just has terrible timing.

I was drying my skin when it hit me that I didn't bring any pads. Trying to convince me that I could handle the horrid situation I yelled, "Jahsehhhhhh!" as I sat on a plastic stool I found in the corner of his bathroom while clutching my towel, already insecure about my bloating stomach. Tears were already dampening my eyes.