Constellation Tattoos

Painting

Regulus had arrived not long after the call, it was clear he was uncomfortable with the presence of Sirius' friends. He had gotten comfortable with talking to Sirius after he left their parents. It took a while for them to get used to each other again but it eventually happened. 

It wasn't a secret that Regulus hated James' guts. He hadn't particularly done anything bad to him except before Regulus left Walburga and Orion, Sirius called James his brother. Not Regulus. Regulus wished he was there for his brother when he left, but he wasn't, it was James. 

It was always James and was always going to be James. Regulus would probably never see the day when Sirius chooses him over James. James would always be his best friend and brother. And that's just how it was, Regulus was just Regulus to Sirius. No one more.

Anyways, ever since Regulus had arrived at the shop, no one had spoken. Not much anyway. They were acting like too much talking would set Regulus off. Regulus knew they were being quiet because of him. If he wasn't there, they would be joking and having a laugh, apparently he dimmed the mood a whole lot.

Regulus and Lily had been working on painting the walls with a design Regulus had come up with while James, Marlene and Sirius planned where things would be put. Just as Sirius was planning where to put tattoo designs for inspiration, Regulus cut in.

"That wouldn't work. If you put them there, it'll cover the majority of the wall. I'm assuming you'd want it to be on show so it'd be better on that wall, where there aren't many designs." Regulus reasoned, throwing a - now - empty spray paint can on the ground. 

Lily, James, Marlene and Sirius just stared at him for a bit, since it had been the first time he talked after the greeting. He had drawn a plan and got Sirius' approval in silence and Lily was just basing everything she did off the picture. 

"Thanks." Sirius said, shortly, scribbling out something on the plan and changing it. Regulus knelt down and picked up another can of spray paint and began to paint the design. Lily was hesitant after Regulus spoke. There was no need to be but she heard the hurt in his voice that they were being careful because of him. 

"We should be getting paid for this, Sirius. I mean especially since Regulus came up with the design himself." Lily joked, smiling lightly in Sirius' direction, while also watching Regulus out of the corner of her eye. James raised an eyebrow but Lily nodded her head in Regulus' direction. 

"I thought you were just doing this as a favour to me?" Sirius smirked. Lily gasped, holding a hand over her heart. Regulus continued on, blocking out their conversation. James, Sirius and Lily chattered on as Marlene came up behind Regulus, analysing his art.

"Have you ever considered being an artist?" Marlene asked, frightening Regulus. Regulus stayed silent, he was thinking of his answer. He had thought about becoming an artist but the thought of drawing or painting with just a little canvas and a room and just constantly having to do it for money didn't seem appealing. He wanted a job that he would enjoy. A job that would have him on his feet and doing things he enjoyed. 

"Yes. Not for me." Regulus told her. Marlene watched as he continued on, the paint flowed perfectly and he knew when to stop and start. Marlene was eager to start a conversation with him. 

"Why not?" Marlene asked.

"It eliminates freedom. I won't find joy in sitting at a canvas constantly, painting. Art is supposed to be used as freedom, freedom of showing what you're feeling on a canvas but I don't find freedom in sitting down with a small canvas. And before you suggest to me street artists, art isn't freedom for me. It's an escape." Regulus explained. 

Marlene hummed and walked closer to Regulus. "I've never met someone with such a deep interpretation on things. I asked you a simple question and you delivered a developed answer. Writing, perhaps, you would enjoy." 

"Would you like me to keep my answers short or would you like me to do what I did before?" 

"Before."

"Writing is freedom, I have to agree. You can write wherever and whatever, you can bring a notebook with you and write in it when travelling the world. But I know that once I get to the point of writing something, there will be nothing there in my mind. I won't be able to put it into words, because you need to experience it. Explaining the most magical times in your life in writing can be hard. So, it limits freedom." Regulus answered, truthfully. He was still painting.

"Do you know what you want to do?" Marlene asked. 

"I know that I don't want to have limits. I want to find out who I am and find out what I want to be before I can settle on jobs. I want to find out meanings of things and I want to live the best life I could possibly live before I do certain things. I don't understand why people act like life needs to be safe and settled, what does it matter? We all die in the end anyways." Regulus replied. 

"Your perceptions of life are low but high, I'm so confused as to where you stand." Marlene said, standing beside Regulus now. Regulus looked over at her as he had stopped painting. Marlene watched him, closely. 

"I simply stand in the middle." He said, shortly. And with that, he spoke no more and turned.