40 » the real victim

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"The fact that we expect love to hate is pretty fucked up."

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"Have this," Sunoo handed me a shot, "Alcohol works best in situations like these. It'll clear up your mind from anything unnecessary." He mumbled, glancing at his phone which lay dead on the counter until it momentarily lit up, signaling a notification.

I downed the drink, some of it trickling down my chin onto my dress, my hand carelessly reaching up to wipe it. I watched as Sunoo checked the text message he had received, scrunching my face at the bitter taste of alcohol.

"Suah said she reached home with Sunghoon after dropping Juyeon on the way," He informed me, his eyes set on the mobile phone in front of him as he typed out an affirmative reply to his girlfriend.

I nodded briskly, leaning my back against the chair as I let my head rest on the leather. A dark blue light of the bar was flickering, as I saw it through the corner of my eye, watching it cast its light on the black ceiling overhead.

'It's your duty to get back his will, his enthusiasm to get himself out of this mess. It's your job to make him alive again.'

"Ah," I rubbed my head, groaning as I remembered Doctor Jake's words, somewhat attracting Sunoo's attention. He shut his phone off, sliding it away as he turned towards me, his lips tightened.

"Don't you think this is too much?" I asked out aloud, momentarily glancing towards Kim Sunoo. He didn't speak up, looking at me rather calmly.
"Too much for me to take, it feels like my head will blow with too much burden.."

Sunoo sighed. "It won't be burden if you think of it in another way," He mumbled, "In a way you are saving a life. Jaehyun's l—"

"Saving a life that destroyed mine?" I snapped, the alcohol in my system working its way to clear up the fog in my mind, "This is basically all upon me, Sunoo! I will be the one to blame if he doesn't survive. Ain't I the one whom his life depends upon now? Are you even thinking how this makes me feel? It's not all about Jaehyun, it's not always about him!" I exclaimed, taking the bartender by surprise.

I was tired of listening that all my happiness was at stake with Jaehyun's happiness. I wondered when he crossed the path, when he switched his sides that we didn't have happiness in the same thing anymore. It was either for him or for myself now.

"Why am I being propelled into all this? Do you know how it feels when you're the only piece of thread that's going to keep someone's life ongoing? What if— What if that thread is so worn out that it snaps? Jaehyun should've let me know about this shit earlier! He didn't have to play 'i'm-a-hero' drama, we could've sorted it out, I was right there to support him. One word, one reason and I would break up with him, but no, he had to go his way because my opinion never mattered!" I let out, frustrated by anything and everything that was going on in my life.

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