Eto na nga ba ang sinasabi ko. Things are moving faster than I thought and I can’t seem to keep up.
Oo nga, we took our time before we became a couple. Kahit hindi kami dumaan sa courting stage talaga, as in formal na ligawan, we spent naman a lot of time together to get to know each other more. And kahit nung time na everybody knows we’re already in love, we didn’t jump into the relationship immediately kasi gusto namin, gusto ko, sure kaming dalawa.
But now that we are together, saka naman nagmamadali ang mga ganap. Jusmiyo! I’m not denying na sobrang saya kong malaman that he’s already having this thought of marrying me. As in! Syempre gusto ko din naman ng gano’ng end. Why would I waste my time dating him ‘di ba kung hindi ko siya gustong pakasalan? Obviously, we’re not just playing around. Pero feeling ko lang kasi talaga…
Nako, Lord, naloloka po talaga ako!
Jusko naman kasi sa ganap, ‘di ba? Ang bilis talaga ng pace namin. Nagmamadali? May expiration date? Nako naman kasi. The first month we were together, we already went out of town. And then on the second month, he went home with me in the province. Tapos on the third month naman, we went out of the country. Eh, ‘di ba nga, that’s what couples in long-term relationships do, not the ones who were just together pa lang for a few months? Well, generally.
Oh sige sabihin na nating okay lang ‘yung mga gano’ng ganap, but what about that incredible question which freaked out the hell of me?! Oh my God talaga!
Damn all these! Who asks that question, even in what if’s, in that short span of time?
Of course, that would be the great Marco Iñigo Tan Montero. *rolls eyes*
Okay, if I have let my heart answer, I would’ve said yes at the moment. Unfortunately, I used my head. Nakakakilig ‘yung thought ng gano’n, acknowledged naman ‘yan. Kasi ‘di ba, ang cute nga naman, you already got that surety that you already found the one for you. But it’s just not something I wanted for myself kasi nabibilisan talaga ako.
Don’t get me wrong. Hello, sure naman ako diyan kay Marco. Hindi naman ako e-effort ng ganito for him kung hindi. If I were to ask, gusto ko siya na talaga ang endgame ko. Kaso naniniwala kasi ako sa long engagement. Maybe if he asked me that after a year of being together, I’ll definitely say yes. Pero three months? My gosh, ‘wag muna please.
My God! Speaking of answers. Natulala talaga ako sa tanong niya. Where the hell did that come from? I really wasn’t able to answer and only “Oh my God!” came out of my mouth. And then I just gaped at him for a long while. Hindi ko na nga na-appreciate ‘yung ganda ng paligid kasi nag-all out na ‘yung paranoia ko. As in nawala talaga ko sa sarili. Jeskelerd!
When we bought pasalubong nga that afternoon, sabaw na sabaw na ako. Ayun, kahit worried na si Marco sa’kin, siya nalang tuloy ang nag-decide ng mga bibilhin namin. Nakalapag na nga kami sa Manila at lahat pero wala pa rin ako sa sarili. Dapat nga I’ll stay with him pa that time kasi ‘yun ‘yung usapan namin dati since 2AM ‘yung arrival namin sa airport. Kaso nga, nabaliw ako sa Sakura moment na ‘yun kaya nagpumilit talaga akong umuwi sa dorm.
At OMG lang naman talaga, huh. It’s been almost a week since we came back from that trip pero medyo hindi pa kami nagkakausap ng matino ng magaling na lalaking ‘yun. We only talked for a few minutes and exchanged less than ten messages this week. Medyo off pa nga ‘yung convo namin. Ni hindi niya nga ako kinakamusta like he use to, basta tine-text niya lang ako kapag nakauwi na siya na inaantay ko talaga kasi kahit naman nag-iinarte ako, gusto kong malaman na okay siya, na nakakauwi naman siya ng maayos. Tapos ako naman magre-reply lang ng okay. Apparently, busy-busyhan sa work ang lolo mo. And I understand naman. Pero sa sobrang busy ata niya, nakalimutan na ata niyang may girlfriend siyang hanggang ngayon eh naloloka pa ng bongga.
