Fall Again // Lipsoul

Chapter Thirteen

*Jinsol's POV*

Sometimes, my own decisions confuse me. Sometimes they even make me feel mad at my own self. 

The same thing was happening as I saw Jungeun walking away from me. 

I felt like I had to move like I had to chase her, stop her from leaving, and tell her that we can be together, that I made a mistake, that I want to spend as much time with her as possible, but my body didn't seem to be wanting to obey me. So, I just sat on the bench and watched her practically rushing in an opposite direction, until she disappeared behind the corner.

There was no catching her now. 

And, much ironically, that was the moment when my body finally decided to obey my mind: I was able to hazily stand up. I kept thinking about where to go, but my brain didn't seem to be functioning properly. At last, I remembered a phrase that always crosses my mind when something important happens: If shit goes down, find Sooyoung. So, with this in my mind, I turned around and walked in the direction of Sooyoung's house. 

"What the fuck did you do?"- she said to me the moment she saw me at her doorstep. 

"What do you mean?".

"It's too early for you to be back from the date yet. You surely fucked up".

"Why do you just assume that I did something? I wasn't the only one at the date, was I?"

"Because I know you and I know Kim Jungeun as well. If there's anyone who can do something stupid between the two of you, then it's you, not her. Are you coming in? or will you keep standing there?"- she said as she walked back to the room, and I followed her inside, locking the door behind me.

"Jiwoo left a few minutes ago. Good thing you didn't come here while she was here- I doubt that she'd like to hear that you messed with her best friend"- Sooyoung said as she sat down beside the window and lit her cigarette- "well? are you going to talk?".

"Oh...well...something did happen, you're not wrong"- I said as I slowly sat down on the couch, trying my best not to show my confusion with my own decision- "we had a great time at the park, then we went to eat and then when we were at the park, she brought up a certain subject"- I stopped here to look at Sooyoung, who already had her signature poker face on, which meant that she was probably not going to be pleased with what I was about to say- "she... she asked about what we are to one another. That one question evolved into a conversation and she, basically, asked me to officially date her and to commit to the relationship..."

"And you declined, didn't you?"- Sooyoung cut me off. 

"Well, I didn't decline, I just said, "I'm sorry".

"That's the same thing. Oh my god, you're unbearable, Jinsol. Give me one legitimate reason for you to not make the relationship serious with her". 

"Hey, you know what I think about relationships and love and all that, don't you? I'm just not made for all of that, that's all"- I replied but could feel a burning feeling inside, almost as if I didn't agree with my own words. 

"Cut the bullshit, will you? I've heard those words a million times. Jinsol, people aren't just born ready for serious relationships, it's not a talent that some of us have and some- don't. At some point, you're going to have to get over the fact that you can't always escape relationships and that, someday, you're going to have to commit to someone. I personally think that, in your case, that someone should be Jungeun"- she said as she took another heavy hit. 

"And why is that?"

"Why? are you kidding me? Jinsol, I've never seen you behave like this before. You always go around saying that the maximum for you is a simple crush that fades away, that you're not going to put a lot of energy into someone else. And, then, all of a sudden, you tell me that you took a girl to an ice rink, then to eat together at nowhere else but your place, and then ended up sleeping with her. Then you proceeded to go out with her on numerous occasions, text her every time you got the chance and talk about her non-stop. Do you even realize how unusual this is for you? You could have just walked away when you saw her at that library. But, no, instead, you decided to get closer to her, to talk to her about the book she was holding, to introduce yourself, and then to go back to the same library in order to see her again. She made you do all these things, even though you've practically sworn to never fall for someone. Don't you realize that this was more than just a small crush? that it could potentially turn into something more?"- she said and looked at me, but I averted my eyes to a different direction. I suddenly heard her getting up and coming closer to me. At last, when she was in front of me, she made me look into her eyes and asked: