Fall Again // Lipsoul

Chapter Twenty One

*Jinsol's POV*

The dinner was, once again, tastier than ever. I was now convinced that everyone in Jungeun's family was able to cook except for Jungeun herself, a little disappointed in the fact that she didn't receive that talent. But, to be fair, I'm a horrible cook too, so I guess that's one thing that we have in common.

As we were dining, I saw Sooyoung getting along with Mr.Kim extremely well. It didn't surprise me, since Sooyoung was always a magnet for older people: she's nice, intelligent, calm, and just has an attractive personality. Jiwoo and Jungeun were in a heated conversation with Mrs. Kim regarding some story about their neighbor that Mrs.Kim had told. I couldn't help but laugh to myself about how the two of them were extremely interested in someone else's business. Therefore, I was the only one who was not having a conversation with anyone and was just eating, so I took this moment to observe everyone else around me.

The atmosphere was so peaceful, it almost felt unreal, like a scene from a movie. Jungeun's parents were accepting, nice, easy to talk to, and just straight-up adorable. I could see that Jungeun looked up to them and admired them both a lot. I could also see that, no matter what happened, she would always eventually end up telling them about it, and they would support her unconditionally, just like they did when she decided to move to Seoul for work or when she told them that she was dating me. The same thing could be said about Jiwoo's parents.

This was when I caught myself asking the question that I had been trying to keep out of my mind for the whole time I had been here:

Is this what a healthy and well-functioning family looks like?

I had seen Sooyoung with her parents before and had been to their house countless times before so it's not like I haven't seen a proper family. But, I was used to seeing them. It wasn't anything new. Coming to two unknown families, however, was a completely different experience. I was happy to see that at least some parents knew how to do parenting in the correct way and were willing to love and support their children unconditionally. I also couldn't be happier about the fact that Jungeun, who deserves everything good in the world, was blessed with such a family. I couldn't even bear thinking about her having to grow up in the environment that I grew up in.

I felt happy for her. For all of them. I really did.

But, I also felt jealous.

Of course, I felt jealous. This was all something that I had never had before. I don't remember the last time my mother made me a delicious dinner of breakfast, or the last time my father decided to play basketball with me just to entertain me, or the time I actually had a genuine conversation with any of them that did not involve us either yelling at each other or them just being judgmental while I simply listened, not having enough energy to reply. I don't remember them being supportive of any of my life choices, either.

And, finally, I sure as hell do not expect any of them to be willing to invite me and my girlfriend over to our house and accommodate us with everything that we need for the whole weekend. They can't even accept the fact that I don't like men.

Actually, it's not like they can't accept it. They just don't want to. They're doing it on purpose.

As I was thinking about this, I could feel the heat rising up in my chest. Being jealous of someone else's happiness was never something I did, so it also made me feel bad about myself. Was I being a bad person? or is it just human nature to be jealous of something that you never had and will probably never have? And, how would I get rid of this burning sensation that began to start up in my chest and probably wasn't planning to slow down any time soon?

Luckily, my thoughts were cut short by Sooyoung.

"Jinsol should remember that. Don't you?"- she suddenly asked and I looked up at the mention of my name.