Not All Fun and Games

Chapter 11

I barge into Bellamy's tent, my face hot and my jaw clenched.
There's a girl lying on Bellamy's shoulder, her body covered by his sleeping bag. Bellamy is shirtless, and I have a feeling the girl must be, too.
Normally, I'd blush and apologize. But then again, I'm not normally this angry, and this determined.
Bellamy and his guest look up at me, both shocked. Then his face becomes serious.
"Veronica, would you give me a moment?"
The girl pulls the sleeping bag up to her neck and nods.
I walk out of the tent and wait for him.
A few seconds later, he joins me. He's wearing pants.
"What is it, Clarke?"
The moment his mouth opens, I snap.
"What is it? You know damn right what it is, Bellamy." I shove my index finger into his chest, trying my best to seem stern and strong. "You know, I thought I was a leader, too. I thought we were in this together. For our people."
His face stays the same, showing no emotion whatsoever.
"I don't know what is up with you today, but you need to get over it." I take a step closer to him, now close enough to feel him breathing. "Get over it, because down here, things aren't all about you. They're about all of us. About helping each other, protecting each other."
I pause, but Bellamy's mouth stays shut.
"Why didn't you tell me about Alex? Did it slip your mind?" I surprise myself with the sternness of my own voice. "Did you not think it was necessary? Or are you just mad at me, for some stupid, selfish reason? And so once again, you made it about yourself."
For a split second, I think I see pain in Bellamy's eyes. But I just shake it off, repeating my question.
"Why didn't you tell me about Alex?"
I look at him, my entire body stiff.
Finally, he replies. "You think I was being selfish? Why is it my job to tell you what's going on?" His strong smell wafts through my nostrils: the smell of leather, smoke and trees mixed together. The scent brings me straight back to last night, and I find myself with tears in my eyes.
"Sorry I didn't alert you right away," he says sarcastically. "You were in your tent at the time, anyway. Would you have liked it if I had barged into your tent unannounced?"
It doesn't take me long to realize he's hinting at what I did just a few minutes ago, and I begin to feel bad. But then I remember something.
"Hey, you told me you were in your tent for most of the day."
"I was. But I woke up to get breakfast, and that's when I spotted the grounder. About an hour later, I went back to my tent." He hesitates before adding:"with Veronica."
I look at the ground, trying to ignore his last two words.
"Is that all, detective?"
His question brings me back to why I'm mad at him. I ball my hands into fists, my fingernails digging into my palms. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath.
"No, that's not all." His tone is so arrogant, so condescending. Right now feels like a good time to punch him square in the face. "You haven't explained why you never told me about Alex."
He tilts his head, examining me. "You think I'm selfish, Clarke, and you have no problem saying it. But you know what? You're a hypocrite."
His words sting and he must know it, but he goes on.
"When Alex went missing, I went off with Murphy and Adam to search for her. We did all we could to find her. I was thinking about her needs, not mine, and definitely not yours. And that makes me selfish?" He thinks he's outsmarted me. He raises his eyebrows, a smug grin on his face so subtle it's hard to catch. But I catch it, and it sends blood rushing to my head.
He continues. "So while I was out on the hunt for grounders, you were in bed, hungover."
Before I can stop it, my hand goes flying. It shoots through the air, landing flat on his cheek with a loud smack. His hand touches his pink cheek as he looks at me, shocked. I guess I slapped the smirk right off his face.
"You know why I was hungover, Bellamy?" My hand stings, but I forbid myself from rubbing it. "I was hungover because you tried so hard to convince me to drink last night. And I trusted you, so I listened to you. And your excuse is bullshit. If our roles were reversed, I would have told you about Alex and the grounder, or at least sent someone to. I would have asked you to come with me on the hunt."
He opens his mouth to answer but I continue to speak before he can say anything. "So you wanted to rush. Fair enough. But when you got back to the camp, did you come tell me? No." My eyes are blurry with tears, but I force myself to keep them from spilling down my cheeks. "Instead, you headed back to your tent to screw a girl you probably hadn't even met 'til today."
And with that, I turn around and walk as fast as I can back to my tent, tears now spilling down my face.