Not All Fun and Games

Chapter 13

"Octavia, we can't wait around for him. I'd go get him myself but last time I did that, he got pretty pissed off." Of course, I'm referring to last night.
Octavia looks at the ground for a few seconds, then nods. "You're right." She picks of the spear I made last night and swings her back pack over her shoulder.
Adam and I have a gun but Octavia prefers the sharp stick. Besides, she said, we can't each take a gun, in case a grounder attacks camp while we're gone.
"Let's go," I say, walking to the front gate. "Let's start with the grounder camp. That must be where they would keep her-if she's still alive."
Adam and Octavia follow, holding hands as they walk. I'm feeling confident. Slightly nervous, but confident.
I've taken about two steps out of camp when someone shouts my name. The voice is low and slighlt scratchy. It belongs to Bellamy.
Taking a deep breath, I turn around to face him. He runs up to us, his face solid.
"Where the hell are you going?"
He must be talking to all of us, but his eyes are on me.
"Oh, so you finally woke up. Pleasant surprise," I say sarcastically. Octavia glances at me, her expression confused. She's taken aback by my cold tone.
Bellamy ignores my comment and looks at Adam. "You were just going to leave without me?"
Adam's mouth opens, but I cut him off. "What were we supposed to do, wait for you? Is that what Alex is doing? Waiting for you to get a good night's sleep, then come find her when you're ready? We weren't thinking about you, Bellamy." I'm almost growling. "We were thinking about our people."
"You think three kids and two guns are going to beat the grounders?"
Octavia steps between us, giving each of us a dirty look. "Will you guys stop?"
Looking to the ground, I take a step back. So does Bellamy. I hadn't realized how close to each other we had been. Just like last night.
"So, now that Bellamy's awake and ready to go, he can come with us."
I want to protest, but I know that would be selfish. We need as many helpers as we can get.
"Bellamy, grab a gun. Ask Murphy if he'd like to come too. Clarke, get some more water. Enough for five."
I'm not used to taking orders from Octavia, but I obey. She's making the right decision, and I trust and respect her more than most people in this camp.
I pack one more water bottle and return to the gate, where only Bellamy waits.
I stand a few feet away from him, not meeting his eyes. I don't know how to act, so I just stand there, hands in my pockets.
I feel his eyes on me. I do all I can to keep mine on the muddy combination of dirt, water and moss under my feet, but fail. The second my eyes meet his, I regret looking up.
"Clarke..." He begins to speak, but I cut him off.
"Forget it, Bellamy. It doesn't matter." The words fall out of my mouth without meaning to, but once they've been said, I don't take them back.