{a/n: Play the music on the multimedia entitled "Distance" as you start reading. Continue until you're through. Thanks!}
LUKE's POV
["Ano? Nakaalis ka na?"] Mama asked for the nth time already. Alam kong nag-aalala lang siya.
"Ma...hindi pa. Tatawagan nalang kita kapag naka-alis na ako" I finally ended the call and sighed.
Hindi pa alam ni Mama at wala rin akong balak na sabihin sa kanya. I don't want my family would hate her. Napamahal na siya sa kanila, same goes with her. Its my fault anyway.
Bago pa man ako mag-breakdown muli ay naisipan ko ng umalis. I took a glimpse first to the portrait of the city of love--Paris, France.
Leaving her doesn't mean, I'm giving up.
---
"Kuya!" Lauree cheerfully approached me and hugged me on my waist.
"Hi Ree," I smiled and kissed her temple.
Yumakap muna ako kay Mama na dala ang bunsong kapatid ko, bago kami sumakay sa van. Throughout the trip, they're asking me about my experiences and of course, what Eiffel Tower looks like. Syempre, sinagot ko naman. I don't want to look misery infront of them. Infront of this strong people.
"Kuya, I saw on Mama's phone. She said, 'anak nakita mo na siya' who's siya?" Lauree asked innocently. Patay tayo diyan.
Nagkatinginan muna kami ni Mama bago siya mismo sumagot. "Of course, si François Hollande, 'yung president ng France"
Ree widened her eyes. "Omg, you meet him Kuya? Looks like, you're gollibling me, Ma" she pouted. Natawa naman kami ni Papa na nasa harapan. Tumango nalang ako.
"Ikawng bata ka, ang chismosa at ang tabil ng dila mo. Saan ka ba nagmana?"
Napahagikhik naman si Lauree. "Sa'yo"
Nagtawanan naman kaming lahat. Pero, nakatago sa mga tawa ko ang masalimuot na nararamdaman.
---
"Anak, let's have lunch together." yaya ni Papa sa'kin as we got here.
I shook my head. "I still have my jetlag, Pa. Pahinga lang po muna ako" sabi ko at umakyat na sa taas.
I arranged first my things before I sat on the couch. Napatingin naman ako sa kitware na nasa tabi ng armrest. Ito ata 'yung maintenance na naibigay ng doctor sa akin nung ma-admit ako once because of asthma. Its been weeks since I didn't take the medicines, nabusy na kasi ako eh. Isang beses ko lang ata nainom. Di bale na, hindi na siguro babalik 'yung asthma.
"Joaquin Lucas, can I get in?" I heard Mama's voice outside. Probably, she's outside my room.
Hindi ako sumagot. Mama has the right to get in my room. Ginagawa niya na'to. Ngayon lang ata siya nagpaalam. That's weird.
Aasahan kong pupuntahan niya ako but she just sat on the edge of my bed. She looked at me and gestured to sat with her, and so I obliged. Silence followed us for minutes.
"I'm on a rest," I said in grimace. "What do you want, Ma?"
She looked at me, with a sort of sympathy. Tinaasan ko ng kilay si Mama to know that I'm looking forward of something. "May problema ka ba, nak?" of course, I denied. "'Wag mo nga kaming lokohin. Alam kong meron ka, kanina ang tahimik mo tapos wala ka ng gana. Ano bang nangyari? Nagkita ba kayo? Ikuwento mo nman kay Mama"
I sighed. I took the chance to tell her the whole story of ours. Mula sa mga nakita ko, nalaman hanggang sa pagbitiw niya ng mga salitang kailanma'y ayaw kong marinig. Gusto kong umiyak, pero pinipigilan ko lang ang sarili ko. I dint want to look like a weakling infront of this strong person.
"Its okay to cry. Sa pag-iyak kasi nailalabas mo 'yung mga halo-halong shift of emotions. Just cry, anak" she said and tapped my hand.
I wanted to hold back this tears, but they betrayed me, they're falling like a falls. I drapped myself and sobbed silently. I can feel that Mama is listening on my sniffs and sobs.
Mama hugged me. "Shh..everything will be alright"
"I hate this kind of feeling, ma. Dapat nga, hindi ako umiiyak eh. Ako pala ang duwag at takot sa aming dalawa. I can't just figure out how strong she is. It pains me." I said as I tried to compose myself.
"According to John Green in one of his novelty books; Pain demands to be felt. Kapag hindi mo mararansan ang sakit, parang hindi ka kumpleto. Pain is the real meaning of life, " she smiled. "'Yung ginawa mo, una pa lang 'yun sa listahan ng mga pwede mo pang gawin. You still have the long list of way you can do to win her again. Try and try. Kasi kapag gusto, maraming paraan. Kung wala na talaga, give up ka nalang. Accept the fact that you're not destined to prove that forever is real."
Tuwing iisipin ko ang mga bagay na 'yan, parang natatakot ako. Kylie is my life. I want to spend my forever with her. I can't afford to lose her this time. It feels like nostalgic.
Wala na ring silbi ang buhay ko, kung wala siya.
---
"Sir, are you sure?" Gia asked me. Marami kasi akong tambak na trabahong naiwan. And now, may lunch meeting proposal ako sa isang investor.
"Yes. By the way.." I faced Gia this time. "Is she back?"
Umiling siya kaya napabuntong hininga ako. I'm assuming that she'll go after me and take back her words. Unfortunately, I'm just only assuming for fvck's sake.
"Sige. Mauuna na ako." paalam ko bago bumaba ng parking lot. Pinaharurot ko kaagad ang sasakyan.
I was thinking of things while driving. I just realized, that I was in a middle of mess. A beautiful mess yet a nightmare. Nababaliw na ata ako.
I instantly blinked hard when my breath isn't normal again. My heartbeat beats rapidly, improperly. Not in a proper rhythm. Am I having an asthma attack? Not this time, please.
Kahit naninigas ang kamay ko, I tried to reach the mini compartment in my car to find the inhaler but it's nowhere to be found. Napapikit ako ng mariin nang maramdaman ko ang pagpitik ng kung ano sa ulo ko.
Shit, I would be in danger.
I tried to stop the car pero biglang sumakit lalo ang ulo ko. I almost yelped in pain. I wanted to stop this shit but pain aches me more.
When I lose the hope, I closed my eyes and prayed silently. God, is this the way you want to get me from this mess? Are you trying to percieve my wish?
Until, I heard some horns and cracking glasses. I yelled when chest hitted on the sterring wheel, almost cracking my rib cage. I know everthing is not in place before my system went blank.
***
A/N:
SHORT & REWRITTEN. This will not be tragic as you expected. Mahina po ako dyan, hahaha. Sa mga gusto ng dedication, comment lang po sa baba. Also, comment rin kayo about the chapter and blah blah.
Dedicated to DaydreamerChic for making the cover of my another book. Thank you so much! ♥♥
BINABASA MO ANG
Moving On (KathNiel)
Teen Fiction"I was strong when you set me free, I became even stronger when I let you go."
