To This New Year (C)

Please Stay

"You go first." I say to him realizing I was probably staring to long. "I don't know what to say.. I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you, but I need you to know I love you and I think your beautiful and I just.. I don't w-want to lose you." he says taking in a deep breath, wait, did he just say I was beautiful? he thinks I'm beautiful, "yeah, you really are," whaat!? dammit I really need to stop saying stuff out loud. "you've always been, but I never told you because I thought you'd turn me away.." he continued "I'm sorry, and seeing how everything here is just makes me feel even more horrible, knowing that I caused you, the love of my life, so much pain. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry" he says. I stare at him, sure he's bullied me for the last 5 years, but he didn't know better, right? Maybe I should give him a chance, I mean he came all the way over here just to see me. no, he didn't you're a loser, he was probably in the neighborhood and remembered where you lived because he's watched you run home in fear of him many times, you're pathetic, he hurt you all that time and now he's pulling a prank on you, what do you do? you fall for it, just like the stupid girl you are. They're probably right.. shit I'm staring again, "u-um, I don't know what to say to that, but I hope you had fun thinking you're fooling me, now go home tell your little friends how you got me, you can lie and say I totally fell for it and it'll be fine, we can pretend that none of this happened, you can go back to your normal life and I'll go back to mine." I say, the voices were right, I turned away to walk out as he grabbed my hand and gently pushed me back on the bed. He looks down at me, now towering over me "I'm not leaving. I'm not going anywhere." he says regaining the confidence in his voice.