Restart Senior High [Completed]

[23] Twixted

'Regrets are a part of life because contentment does not exist in this world.'

Aka "Nurse Becca"

Where should I start my story? How did I end up here?

You see, life starts at high school. It's where you start to learn about love and learn about life.

This is where you discover your first love, where the butterflies in your stomach, the loud beating in your chest do not mean crushes anymore like you had in your elementary days but actually liking someone, even loving.

This is also where life starts knocking in your doors with your career decisions. This is where people expect you to fully know yourself because that will tell you what career decisions to make.

Other people are living a simple life where mine is tangled, twisted, a divergence of thousands of many roads, a labyrinth would even be a perfect metaphor. This all started in high school as where every story starts.

Yes, I have found my first love in high school. We fell in love and became the most famous high school sweethearts ever known around our school. But something happened. We were poor but became even more poor so we had to separate ways in college. We were both in Manila but have separate worlds in each of our chosen universities.

In my second year of college, we met again in my vacation here in our province. All the feelings have gone back, too. We then had a secret relationship in Manila where we both study. His family never wanted me until I prove my worth so we had to keep it that way. They wouldn't know because they were in the province. After graduation I got a job but was moving in and out of agencies because I took up a course I was not really into. My husband, on the other hand, have a stable job in a well known firm in the city. My insecurities were all piling up.

Five years of being back again we tied knots with only the two us knowing. But then his parents suddenly barged in in our apartment with only me inside of it because he's gone off already to work. I received insults from his parents so bad I not only hated them but also developed hatred towards my husband.

I left him in Manila with just a yellow sticky note and the ring to end up things with him. I went home in our province but he followed me. The next thing I knew he was in front of me as a new employee of our agency.

He then talked to me, asking me to explain why I had to do that, that he wanted me back and couldn't imagine a future without me by his side. I thought it was a happy ending but the car accident happened. It was my fault. Had I not pursued our relationship....

My husband died in a car accident. We were on our way home and only the two us are in the car. It was raining heavily brought about by the incoming storm. I was the only one who survived and again that became a regret. I blame myself for that. I believe it had something to do with what happened back in high school because it had already happened before.

Maybe it was the many accidents and life threatening events that I have witnessed in my whole life, I'm not sure, but I just found myself going back to my university, taking up Nursing as a course, even graduated Cum Laude. It's never really too late to pursue a dream and make it happen.

I thought I have found another life because strangely I was loving my job but it turned out I was just distracting myself from all the bad things that happened before. When I'm asleep, the past is haunting me in my dreams. When I'm awake, regrets is eating me up alive.

I thought I learned the lesson of being contented with what I have and being grateful for it. But how can you be grateful when you can't have the only one thing you want in your life?