Skinny Love

Chapter 17

I can not believe what I am doing. 

One more step, I lift my hand and knock three times. I can not believe what I'm wearing, I think as I look back down at my tight top and thin jacket that covers my swollen arms. 'I can't do this.' my heart beats faster and louder and I turn around, one step down and I hear the door crack open behind me. I freeze midbreath and sigh heavily.

"Ella?" I hear, but it's not Mark's voice. It's a woman. It's his mother. I close my eyes as I turn back to face her. She's always had a resting bitch face for as long as I'd known her. I take the one step back up and ask the hardest question in my life.

"Is," I stumble "Is Mark home?"

"No." she answers blankly. "He's with his new and better girlfriend."

"Do you know when he'll be back?"

"No." I wait for an explaination but never get one. I open my mouth to speak but she rudely interupts. "You've gained a lot of weight since I last saw you, having a hard time?" she smirks. "That new girl of his, Cherri is like a model. So beautiful unlike you."  she's rubbing it in, again. I take a deep breath. One, two, three. "I like her so much more, I would be so embarressed to have him going out with you any longer than it had." Hm, mm, mm. she shakes her head and leans on the door frame. His mother was the worst person I knew, and she hated me as much as I hated her.  But she had nothing over me anymore because I had nothing to lose. I didn't want Mark back, I just needed to vent. But what I really needed was to yell.

"You know what I'm done with this! I'm done with being bullied and I'm tired of hiding and lying. I'm tired of you're bitchiness and hatefulness against me." I turn around and walk down the steps clutching the railing. I turn and spit fire at her. "And I'm not fat, I'm pregnant."  I hear a gasp and a hand grabs my shoulder. I shrug it off violently. "Don't touch me." I spit and continue to walk, but she turns me around. 

"It's not Mark's, what do you want from me? Money? To shame me? I'll have you know that not one person will believe your lies!" I take a step closer, my face is really close to hers and I'm scared she might bite.

"What I want is to not have any secrets. No one cares about your damn reputation, you hear? No one! It is actually your son's, is it that hard to believe? And I don't want your fucking money." did I really just say that? Dropping an f-bomb in front of Mrs. Campbell is like threatening the president, needless to say you never do it. I stand my ground anyways and look her straight in the eyes. "Tell Mark I need to talk to him." I turn and start toward my car I hear a loud mumble  'god damn it you whore' behind me and flick her off. Still not forgetting her other comments, I back out of the drive and continue down the street until I can find somewhere the stop and park. I can feel the tears in my throat, as it began to flame. I stop at a 'Gas & go' and turn of the engine. A feeling of hatred and frustration fill me and I finally let tears fall. I slam my hands on the wheel, then lean all the way back in my seat covering my face with my hands. I'm never good enough for that woman ever! I was truly ready to tell Mark, I was ready to talk. My confidence was now over but all I had to do was wait for a call from him. Maybe then things will settle down. I take once again, another deep breathe and look in the mirror, my eyes are slightly red and puffy. I open the door and lock the car back once I'm out. I hold the keys on my index finger, swinging it back and forth as I walk into the drugstore. I know I shouldn't but I grab a snack size bag of chips and some m&m's, which I'd probably gone through more than a hundred bags of in the past five months. I make my way towards the refrigerators and grab a cold lemonade. As I grab it, my pocket starts to buzz, I shift and hold all the items in my right hand while I reach my phone. 

Sammy.

"Hello?" I answer, I sniffle a bit and hold the phone in the croak of my neck.