It was a slow day. We decided to take advantage of our free day and I helped pack up bedding and baby things and clothing in boxes we had around the house. I gave them to Nat and he'd put them in the car and take them to the apartment. Mom and dad decided the service would be on Saturday, that was enough time to get everything together and invite all the close family she needed. She never called it a funeral though, only the 'service' it sounded better I thought than funeral which was a very misleading word as there was nothing 'fun' about it.
I sat on the floor of the master bedroom in the barn which I could soon call my old room, with August by my side. She sat on her 'tummy time' mat while I folded clothes. I had Nat go to the dollar store and buy out all of their boxes. As I folded our many clothes, Nat and his dad ran things like August's cubical and dresser and other things that couldn't fit in a box to the apartment in his dad's truck. August was already sitting up on her own but I always kept a pillow next to her or behind her just in case she fell back. At the moment she was sitting up playing with one of her toys as I folded. I couldn't help but think that Sam wouldn't want us to stop what we were doing and freeze, I knew she would want us to move into our new apartment and I kept reminding myself that that was why I was folding. That is why you aren't breaking down. That is why you are smiling and singing to August. I was in fact singing, not necessarily to August but she enjoyed it, my biggest fan I'd say. I always sung while cleaning. She was giggling by my side. "Mmm." I smiled and set my t-shirt pile into a box. "Mmm."she mumbled again. "Ma-ma." I turned around quickly and eyed her with a big smile. "Ma-ma." she said it again, clear as day. She was clapping and giggling. "Yes! Say it again! Ma ma." I found myself overly excited and fascinated. She held onto my fingers in her slobbery hands. A big bright grin on her face, she giggled loudly and there it was again. "Ma-ma." two syllables but she said 'Mama.' I laughed. "You have no idea how happy I am!" I told her in the baby voice I used with her. I smiled back. "Yes I am, I'm so happy." The rest of the time I folded she giggled and played with her talking toys. I wish I could have called Sam and told her. Maybe she was watching, maybe angels were real. And if they were, she was definitely August's guardian angel.
Nat walked in with his dad ready for more boxes. I leap up and swept August up in my arms.
"You have to see this!" I told him.
"What?" he asked. His dad was hovering behind him and I waved a quick hello.
"Go ahead August, tell him. Say it."I told her, again in that baby voice. "Ma..." I started. "Say it..." I said teasing. I tickled her and smiled. "Come on." she giggled a bit and then... "Ma-ma." she looked over at me as if for approval I nodded and smiled "That's right!" I poked her belly and leaned in and kissed her. She giggled more and more. "Ma-ma" she kept on.
"Oh my god, August! Look at you! Your first word! Now you just need to learn to say daddy!" he leaned in and kissed both of us. He took August in his arms and bounced her. "More boxes?"
"Yep. Let me just finish setting the rest of these clothes in these two boxes." I had a box for each of our clothes and I swear August had more than the both of us. "If you can the rest of her toys and the pink rug can be put in the box that's in her room and then taken. All that's left after that is the couch mom said we could take, pillows, coffee maker, and my new dishes and silverware oh and towels, can't forget that and the toiletries that I have to pack like shampoo, baby shampoo, toothbrushes, etc." He nodded. We truly didn't have much in the barn but we had enough, and it made it an easy move. We'd be done within the day.
Nat and his dad packed up the baby room and I packed up dishes while feeding August in her high chair. She chewed on her spoon while I tucked glass plates in their box. Nat and Will would walk by taking loads of boxes out to the truck. "Nat!" I stopped him as he was almost out the door.
"Mom said we could take the old dinning table from the basement in the house, so if you guys want to get that and then these dishes we'll be set. I mean we might have to come back tomorrow and check to see if we left anything but I think we have everything except the table and sofa."
"Alright sounds good, we're going to take this load and then come back and try to get both." He leaned in, box to the side and kissed me and then kissed the top of August's head. She started bouncing up and down and giggling while hitting her highchair table.
"I guess that means you want more?" I laugh and hand the box of dishes to Nat. "Be careful with these." I lifted August out of her seat and wiped down the high chair with one hand. "Here Will, you can take this." he said 'hi' to August and shook her little hand and then off he went. I grabbed her food and we both sat on the living room rug. I sat her on her blanket with a pillow behind her while I fed her. "Mmmm." she ate and giggled.
When she was done I threw the now empty jar away and wrapped her in her blanket. I carried her outside and to the house. I walked in and it was warm and smelt of vanilla air freshener. "Mom?" I called. She looked up when I walked into the kitchen. I hugged her tight and she decided to take a break for a moment. She took August in her arms and made a half smile. I sat in the seat beside her.
"You missed it she said her first word earlier. I would have called you but I didn't want to intrude." August held my hand and I made faces at her and smiled.
"You wouldn't have intruded,"she smiled up at me. "what did she say?"
"She said mama." I suddenly had a large smile on my face.
"Now you need to say mamie." she smiles faintly, then sighs. "All this planning is making me sick. I know for a fact your sister wouldn't want us to sit around and cry about her. She'd want a celebration." I smile.
"That sounds more like her." I say.
"But the relatives say it should be a proper funeral service with roses, a prayer, and everyone comes back her to wish the family well and leave food. But why should I have to clean my house for a funeral service? It's supposed to be our time to mourn."
"Then do what you think is best." I say. "Sam deserves a 'remarkable send off', as she'd say."mom laughs for the first time in the last couple of days.
"That sounds like her."
"Speaking of Sam and the funeral..."I play with my thumbs. I'd been waiting for the right time to tell her. "There is someone that needs to be invited. I should have told you earlier but it wasn't a good time."
"Who? What are you talking about?"
"I called Sam's phone, I thought it would go straight to voicemail since it wasn't found in the wreck and someone answered. Apparently Sam was at her friend Grace's house that night and they were both drinking and Grace found Sam's phone in her apartment."
"What? Oh my god. I didn't know."she shook her head "I didn't even know Sam had a friend called Grace."
"Me either, but look it's not my place to tell you everything else."I hand her the post it note I'd written Grace's number on. "Call her, invite her to the service or to come talk. It's up to you." I shrug. I lean in and trade the post it note for August.
"Besides, say me and mommy have to go organize and put things where they belong, huh?" I say to August. I turn and hug mom and kiss her cheek. "I love you." she gives a little side kiss back and an 'I love you too.' before I turn and make my way out.
YOU ARE READING
Skinny Love
Teen Fiction'A teenage girl comes face to face with her past and must deal with its consequences.' Ella got pregnant at seventeen, by her best friend but he doesn't know about it. Instead of telling him she changed schools and took on a new life where no one kn...
