Parker told Lindi, I suppose. I didn't stick around to find out. I went straight to my room and lay flat on my bed.How long did I have before I couldn't sleep on my stomach? Should I at all? Would it hurt him? Instead I turned and lay flat on my back, and stared at the ceiling. I should be happy, for me, the baby, for my brother. But I just couldn't. My emotions were all screwy and I just needed to cry. Also I could still smell food on my clothes and it made my wince.
I stood and peeled off my clothes and search for some pajamas in my drawers. I found sweat pants and a tank top, that would do. As I started to pull the sweat pants on, I glanced at myself in the mirror. I inched closer and what I saw was me, but not me. This me in the mirror had dark circles and looked a bit thinner, her hair oily and lazily strown into a ponytail. I saw myself in a bra and sweat pants and I dared myself to look down. I actually forced myself to look down at my stomach, and I sighed in relief. There was no bump, yet. But I couldn't help but flash back to earlier when Lindi pulled up her sweater to reveal her swollen belly. That would be me soon. I placed my hand on my stomach, I felt nothing. A frown washed over my face but I quickly dismissed it and slid on my tank. It was true, I had no idea how I felt about this lil' bean inside me, but I would love it no matter what. A feeling on relief washed over me, Lindi was pregnant. I was pregnant. I could talk to her about it. Maybe. I wasn't too close to her, when Parker and Lindi dated she never really paid much attention to us, Parker's sisters. It was intentional, no, Lindi was just too focused on Parker, and she was the sweetest person. If I had any questions I would ask her about it. But did I even have any? Yes. Many. But I didn't want to just annoy her with questions, besides she was probably already asleep. The thought came to me as I noticed the time on the clock, twelve in the morning. Maybe tomorrow, it was likely mom would ask Lindi to stay because one, they spent the night tonight, two only Parker had to work tomorrow. Plus my mom wouldn't give up the chance of us bonding.
But I was way too jittery, and couldn't sleep. I paced my room. Back and forth I walked. I tried to study next, on the floor, on the bed, at my desk. I couldn't focus. I opened a book and started to read, but the letters floated off the page and I would read a whole paragraph and have to start over because I hadn't actually been paying attention to it. I sighed and grabbed a jacket from the floor, then slipped out of my room.
I walked down the hall to the stairway, then down the stairs to the living room, and from the living room the porch. A chill crept up my spine when a breeze floated by. I looked over at the barn, the light was on and I carefully walked down the stairs and toward it. I stepped on the stones that guided me to the barns door, they were cold under my bare feet. Once there I considered knocking but instead pressed the doorbell. I still didn't understand why exactly mom put one there. I her footsteps and within seconds my sister appeared at the door. She was wide awake and I knew she'd been waiting for me.
"I can't sleep." I told her. I'm worried. I didn't say. Am I doing the right thing? I didn't ask.
"Come in." she pulled me inside and I patted my way to the sofa. "Want anything to drink? Coffee, tea, soda?"
"Any of those." I said blankly and she shot an 'Ah ha!'
"Trick question," she said "You can't have any of those."
"What?" I was confused. "Why?"
"You're pregnant. " She handed me a glass of water, which I just stared at. "I've been marathoning those pregnancy TV shows, to you know, help out. You can't have caffeine because your body's ability to break down caffeine slows, so you end up with a higher level of it in your bloodstream. AND it's not good for you."
"So you stop drinking it too." I suggested.
"Ahh, but you have two people to worry about, I only have myself." Smart ass. She sat and drank a cup of coffee right in front of me. Whatever, I could do without.
"What else did you learn watching these crazy shows?" I took a sip of water but my stomach felt empty. I needed a real meal. "Hey it's not that late, could we go for a drive? I can't while on this medicine." Sam shrugged.
"I mean, why not?" she stood and picked up her purse "Where to?"
"Carrie's?" Carrie's was this diner near our house that had the best chocolate milkshakes and grilled cheeses,which soundly like the most heavenly food at the moment. Sam nodded with delight. " I'll just grab my wallet." I said turning back to the house.
"Don't be silly, let me treat you to something special."
"You don't-" she cut me off.
"Get your ass in the car." she laughed.
We showed up in our pajamas and it was perfectly normal for an all-night diner. We both ordered milkshakes but I ended up getting mine refilled once, and I practically didn't even taste my grilled cheese I ate it so fast, not realizing I was so hungry. Sam ate a waffle which was her signature plate here. Hers came with three sausages and bacon and I could have sworn my mouth was watering.
"Want one?" Sam gave me one and I took slow bites, savoring it.
"You have no idea what it feels like to not be able to keep anything down for almost a week. I am so happy right now, you have no idea. I love my doctor for giving me those nausea pills." Sam laughed. She held up a finger as our server neared behind the counter.
"Could you get her another grilled cheese?"
"Coming right up!" the woman smiled and patted Sam's shoulder once.
"You-"
"You are starving aren't you? Don't protest."
After my second sandwich, and Sam had paid, we still sat at our booth talking.
"You want to talk about Mark?" she finally asked, after we'd gone silent.
"Not really. Let's talk about something else."
"You sure?"I nodded. "So. . ." she paused "have you started thinking about a plan?" A plan? I hadn't really thought of one, no. But how was I supposed to make a plan if I didn't know what to do? So I told her the truth.
"I don't have one, because I don't know what to do."
"Maybe you need to figure it out." she said and I agreed.
At about two thirty in the morning we left Carrie's diner. Sam offered the spare room in the barn/ guest house but I declined. Our little talk made me feel somewhat better but I still couldn't place what I was feeling, about the situation, or about anything really. I knew one thing, though. It was going to be rough couple of months, and I wasn't good at handling stress. I slowly and quietly made my way up the stairs to my room. I sat on my bed yet again and still couldn't fall asleep. First I was too cold so I grabbed more blankets and snuggled up to them, but then I was too hot. I pushed all the blankets to the end of my bed. My head on the pillow. My head under the pillow. I tried watching TV. Nothing was working. I shut off the television and lay on my back with my hand under my head, and I started to think, my plan. What is my plan? I jumped up flicked the lights on
YOU ARE READING
Skinny Love
Teen Fiction'A teenage girl comes face to face with her past and must deal with its consequences.' Ella got pregnant at seventeen, by her best friend but he doesn't know about it. Instead of telling him she changed schools and took on a new life where no one kn...
