Skinny Love

Chapter 50

I don't think I've ever felt like I've disappointed my parents so much. I knew they'd never say it but I didn't think I could go back home right away. I asked Mark if I could stay at his apartment just for a couple of days. Of course he'd say yes, then again I felt like I was playing him too. I tried to packed every last item I owned in my car, but I'd have to ask my dad in a couple days if I could use his car to get the crib and the couches, and table, and shelves. Those were the only things I left, I took every clothing item I had of me and August, baby things and necessities, blankets, pillows, you name it. 

And now I was bringing in some clothes, the baby bag, and Mark carried her in her car seat. 

"It'll be for the weekend that's all."I tell him. We were in the apartment now, I set down the two bags on the couch and turned to him. He was taking August out of her seat and tickling her and holding her. 

"Oh I was going to ask you, since you are here and all... I was going to take August to this big get together that my family is having." he bounced her on his hip. "I was wondering if you wanted to come." 

"Um, I guess so." I tell him. 

"It's going to be a sort of family reunion, it's at the-"he coughs "country club."

"Ah." I say. The rich snobs that I would usually try to avoid. Mark came from money, that's why his mom didn't like me and Sam, sure we attended the same private school but my family wasn't rich. My parents just had decent jobs. But unlike the rest of his family, Mark was mellowed out and he never cared much about money, he was the sweetest person you'd ever met. But being the snob his mother was, her family was too. "Well if August is going, I'll go too." 

While we ate dinner that night -Chinese take out- I couldn't help but think about the next day.

"What am I even supposed to wear to something like this?" I ask him.

"I don't know, a dress?"

"I guess so," I say. "It's so much easier dressing August up in anything because she looks adorable in everything." I look over at her, she had egg roll all over her face and her high chair table. "Except for at the moment." I laugh and wipe her mouth. "Why are you so messy?" I laugh. She only had six teeth (it had been a rough couple of months for her) but she chowed down on any food you gave her. 

Later that night when August was asleep and me and Mark sat awkwardly on the sofa each of us on the opposite ends. Though after a while we both put our feet up and lay back while watching some documentary on tv. 

"I forgot how nerdy you are sometimes." I say during a commercial break.

"Oh whatever." he laughs. I sit up and twiddle my thumbs. 

"So, um... You never told me what happened when you took August to your parents house. I haven't seen them since like last year so..."

"Well,"he starts. "for one she acted like she didn't know a thing but after I calmly explained that I knew she knew, I told her if she ever wanted to see her granddaughter again she had to put her opinions aside and stop her bullshit basically."

"And she..."

"And she agreed after seeing August, I mean could anyone say no to her cute little face?"

"I mean she has you wrapped around her little finger already, so I can believe her manipulative-ness."we laugh like everything is finally normal again. But then I stop, because it isn't and I shouldn't get too used to it. Mark mutes the TV and looks at me, this look in his eye says 'I'm about to say something crazy.' and he does...

"Why don't you just move in with me?"

"What?"

"I mean, I don't want to do this back and forth thing anymore. I want to be able to see August every day like a normal dad would and you need somewhere to stay and I know you really don't want to go back home. " I throw my head back and stare at the ceiling. The white plaster dots start to form art right before I look away. 

"I don't know if that's the best idea." I tell him. "I need time to get over Nat, I love him. I really do. But I love August more than anyone and that's why I broke up with him. I think I rushed into things, and I just don't think I want any kind of relationship right now."

"We don't have to, I just want to be able to see August on a daily basis without having to go out of the way travelling back and forth, and all I'm saying is I want you to move in."

"That's it... just moving in?"

"Yes."

"I'll think about it."