Skinny Love

Chapter 48

I discovered that when you spend all your time inside your apartment taking care of a baby and basically being a housewife that time goes really slow but also passes by really quick. In that whole week I had left the apartment once to go see my mom, even though I had talked to her on the phone. So now that it was Saturday and I was standing next to mom, dad, Parker, Lindi and Ledger, with Nat by my side holding August I couldn't help but think the scene was wrong without Sam here. I held a squirming August while I half listened to an old man say a prayer. We set roses on the casket and afterwards random family members that mom ended up deciding to invite came and hugged us and said things like 'I'm sorry for your loss.' or 'She was such a sweet girl' or 'She'll be missed dearly.' Yeah I knew that already that's not why I'm here, I'm here to say goodbye to my sister get out of my face. But I just smiled and thanked them because that is what you were supposed to do. People started to leave, and even when mom and dad and even Parker and Lindi left, I stayed. I just wanted some alone time. of course the ground was still broken and her grave wasn't covered yet, I sat on the bench on the cool warming day in late Janurary. Nat didn't want to leave but I knew he had to and I told him it was okay, I wanted to be alone. Well alone meaning me and August who couldn't do much but exist at the moment. But as I sat in silence I heard a quite and shy "Hey." come from behind me. I turned around. A petite girl in a knee length black dress walked toward me. Her hair was dark and long, curled at the ends, her face red from crying. Mine probably was too.

"Hello?" I say. She takes a deep breath.

"We've never formally been introduce, I didn't want to intrude. Your mom called me and I just kind of stayed unnoticed. I'm Grace." she tried to smile but couldn't, she wiped her eyes. "You must be Noelle, right?" I nod. I hadn't realized that I'd stood but I did and soon she was hugging me.

"Actually just Ella or Elle."

"She really loved you, she talked about you all the time."She turned her head. "And August."

"She was my best friend." I say "Not many people can say their sister is their best friend."

"I feel like this is all my fault if I would have been in my right mind I would have stopped her from going out but she insisted and she wanted to be home early because she was waiting for you to call her about the engagement. I hope you said yes."

"I said maybe." I shrug. "It's not your fault, I shouldn't have blamed you. I was angry and upset. I just wanted to hear her voice again but you answered and I just-"

"Oh, yeah. Here." She handed me Sam's phone. "I thought you would want it." I nod and adjust August on my hip. I could feel the tears again and I wipe my face.

"So, um" I take a deep breath. "how long had you two been talking?"

"We'd been dating for almost a year this March."

"Why, why didn't she tell me? Or anyone."

"When we met, your family was still shocked about your pregnancy and she was afraid that your parents wouldn't like the fact that she was,"she looked away "dating a girl." she shrugged. "I just wish I could have met you all before this happened." she started to cry. "I really thought we were going to be together for a long time."she covered her face and this time, I hugged her.

"It's okay." I say.

"I didn't even tell you mom, I just- she's been through enough. You all have."

"You should tell her and when you do I'll stand by your side."

"Thank you." I tell her that I need to get August home, but I give her my number and another hug and tell her to call me whenever. "I want to get to know you." I tell her. Because if she was so close to my sister, I want to know her as well.