Skinny Love

Chapter 12

I woke being shaken by a worried Nat, the movie was still playing. I looked up at him. "What?"

"You were groaning in your sleep are you okay?" I lifted my head up, the credits started to roll and Joan was asleep. 

"I'm fine." I told him, because I didn't actually know if I was okay. He walked over and turned off the TV, then headed down the hall to the guest room. I moved my head to the pillow and fell asleep once again. 

I woke again some time later on my own. In the dark I was confused a bit and then I felt another pain, a 'cramp'. I got up and huddled to my bathroom. As soon as the light turned on I noticed the blood it wasn't a lot but it did soak a spot in my pants. I started breathing heavy thinking the worst. I'd heard stories like this, a miscarriage. But it couldn't, no, not me, not my baby. Since my bathroom was attached to my room I yelled for Joan.

"Joan!" I whisper yell. She rolled over and peeked up at me in the bathroom doorway. "Joan," I started to cry now. "You have to go get my mom. Go wake her up." I huffed with a cramp. "Oh my god, go get her!" Joan was up in seconds, I'd never seen Joan with any emotion really but right now she looked as afraid as I was and she wasn't awake all the way.

It was taking her too long so I started for the stairs. "Mom!" she came running with Joan, my dad following behind. She was worried as she met me halfway up the stairs and hugged me tight. 

"What?" she asked frightened. I could hear Nat behind me.

"We've got to go, you have to take me to the hospital. I'm bleeding." 

"What?" and this time she was dragging me down with her as we went out the door she called for a confused Joan and Nat to meet us at the hospital. Mom sat in the backseat with me, holding me close. I was so afraid of a miscarriage that I was scared and shocked and crying. 

I can barely remember getting to the hospital, we arrive and I was taken back with mom. Dad had to stay behind and I felt bad. They took me straight up and had me change into an ugly blue gown again. They started doing blood tests and questioning me and when all we had to do was wait I cried myself to sleep. 

I woke hours later when day light appeared again and mom immediately told the nurse and she told the doctor. Apparently they'd been waiting on me to wake. Dad was up here in my room too. 

"Sam is down stairs with your friends." he said I nodded not meeting his eyes. Mom came back in and we waited silently for the doctor, who walked in a couple minutes later. 

"We got the tests back and you don't have any bleeding disorders or Thyroid problems, or anemia. So, here is what we are going to do." he says. "I'm going to send you up to get an ultrasound to look for a heart beat, and go from there. Alright?" I nod covering my eyes, because I knew I might start back. Soon after he left a nurse came and wheeled me up to my ultrasound. Mom followed behind and Dad went to update Sam. 

I had only ever had one ultrasound and I'd been passed out while they did it so I was nervous and excited getting another one. I stayed silent I was wheeled in a room and lay on the bed. The ultrasound technician didn't make me wait long and I knew that meant business because the hospital was always slow. The young looking woman in scrubs and tied back hair squeeze a cold clear jelly onto my stomach and moved it around with a wand waited for a heartbeat. I stared at the screen where there was actually a baby there. I made a small laugh and cry as I heard a steady heart beat. 

"Can you see the gender?" I asked.

"I can look." she told me. She moved the wand down and pointed with finger at the screen. I held hopes for a boy, but it didn't matter as long as he/she was still there and live and healthy. "You sure you want to know?" she asks.

"Yes." 

"See right here?" she pointed. "It's a girl, congrats!" My mouth hung open for a minute and mom squeezed my shoulder. I looked over to her. A girl. That feeling that got me to buy the pink blanket was right and I didn't even know it. The technician moved on and looked around just in case took pictures and then printed them.  "It looks like you have a 5cm fibroid in your uterus."

"A what?"

"A fibroid is a benign non cancerous tumor. The doctor will explain futher for you." 

I was wheeled back to my room, all that went through my mind was, it's a girl, tumor, baby, non cancerous. My head was spinning as I got back in my room and lay down. Soon the doctor came in handed me the ultra sound photos and explained that they were going to watch the fibroid through out my pregnancy and there best bet was to cut it out after the baby is born, and that I could leave this afternoon but they wanted me in observation for a while. Apparently I was under a lot of stress and needed to cut hours at work. After he left I just stared in absolute bliss at the photos.

I looked up at my mom who had her arm around me playing with my hair.

"It's a girl." she repeats. 

"You know what?" I ask her quietly and she gives me a look. "I actually bought this really soft baby blanket a while ago and I was convinced it was a boy, but when I saw that blanket-it's pink with brown trtimming. It didn't matter, and I just bought it without any clue why. I never took the tags off or lost the receipt, but today I got it out for the first time and it makes me happy that I'll get to use it now. Now that I know, it's a girl." she smiles and I mimick it as I stare back down at the black and white picture of my baby, my baby girl. 

It'd been a stressful and uncomfortable night so I looked at the clock on the wall, it was already eight in the morning. My mom sat in the chair beside me and we both giggled at my giant father in the tiny faux leather chair to my left. My eyes fluttered closed as she tickled my arm, down to my finger tips. When I woke it was eleven, almost noon.