Plans and Her (10/20/21)

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I always make
Giant elaborate plans
Just to watch them crumble at my feet

And from the start
I should know
They won't work

But they make me so happy
Dreaming big
Seeing something so beautiful

You'd think I'd have learned by now
That it only leads to pain
Only leads to disappointment

But the high I feel
While I'm planning
Well it might just be worth it

Plans to move across the country
To meet the girl 30 minutes away
To fly across the ocean

Some crumble faster than others
I wasn't going to go to college for one
I was going to move across the ocean for one

I was going to move out for one
We even reached the point
Where we wanted to consider it

And it's always a God thing
Letting my plans crumble
Because he has something better

And now I have her
Building these plans
They're gonna crumble

But for now
I dream of bringing her to me
Sending her to school

Letting her live her biggest dreams
Living the timezone she was meant to
Getting her the wifi she deserves

Just taking care of her
She loves the dreams and indulges me
Talks about how wonderful they would be

She wants them too
Even if they aren't realistic
With so many holes

She wants me
Wants me to take care of her
If only it could happen

I will meet her
I know that for a fact
But the timeline will be different

I dream of meeting her for my birthday
But my birthday is in March and its October
And I'm too afraid to even ask

I'd love to take her on vacation
Or make my yearly vacation to see her
I'd love to be with her

And I have plans of taking her on vacation
Ship her here and we go
Have her stay another week with me

I already know where I'd take her
Even tho I just went last year
I'd take her to Arizona

Let her meet my cousin
We'd enjoy the pool
Every night would be a date night

I can see us in the pool
Sitting on the ledge
Talking in sun

We both can't stand the sun
But when you're in the water
It isn't so bad

And at night we'd get in the hot tub
Look at the stars
Go for a walk across the resort

We'd sit out on the balcony
Look out over the golf course
Maybe go sit in front of a fire

And while I dream of it just being us
I imagine we'd end up going with my parents
Not that that's bad, they're good people

I wonder if they'd let us sleep in the same bed
I mean after all we aren't dating
I don't even think they know we're in love

My mom would yell if she knew
"Another girls half way across the planet?!"
But I don't care, fuck is she worth it

And my counselor always goes
"So what makes you think it's her"
And I just say "she's just lovely"

And if they knew all these plans we have
All these moments we share
Maybe they'd get it

Maybe I should make a list
Better yet, I should make a video
I have all these moments together

I should show my mom the video
"Ma'am do you even know how
Smart and beautiful your daughter is?"

Of course she does know
But she'd know she loves me
She'd love how she cares for me

She'd fucking love her
She's so sweet
She's always there for me

She drags me out of my pain
All I have to do is tell her I don't feel well
And her ears are open

And so all these plans are worth it
Till we find one that works for us
I have a feeling I'll be going to her

She'd have to order my food
Talk her to her mom for me
But it'd be worth it

I gave her the awful idea
Of telling her she could tell her parents
I'm saying something I'm not and I'd not know

After all they don't know English
And I don't know German
Neither of us would know the difference

And that's another one of my plans
To learn German
So I can half talk to her parents

She could talk to mine so fluently
And then I'd speak in broken German
Sounding so stupid to hers

I hope they like pepegas like she does
She thinks I'm adorable
But lord only knows what they'd think

So I'll just keep planning
Till we find the right plan
Or they all crumble at my feet

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