(A/N: this one would've been written I believe in eighth grade so when I was... what that's thirteen, right? This one was more in my stages of depression when I was in love with a different best friend, and the words clearly show that, but have no fear I no longer feel this way and know it's been years since I've cut myself. Know that the past couple poems have been from seventh grade, while this one is from eighth grade more than likely further into the year)
The feeling of nothing rushed against my skin
It cuts deep, but I don't mind
I know you're not thinking of me tonight,
But god knows I'm thinking about you
You stripped all feelings and emotions away
And led me down a path that led to pain
I followed you and ignored the warning signs
I knew I should turn back
Everyone else begged at my feet telling me not to listen
But I gave in
Your dull blue eyes cut me like a blade when they sparkled
I couldn't say no to them
I trusted you, but you let me go
You practically threw me on the ground
Lifeless, I gave up.
I knew loving you would get me nowhere
It's not like you loved me back
I don't know what I expected from you
Did I think I'd be your only exception?
The only girl you'd ever date?
The only girl you'd ever love?
I wanted you to be my everything.
I wanted to be your everything.
But why did I expect you to love me
If I do not love myself?
Maybe I was hoping you could give me reasons to love myself
But you only made me see my flaws even more
No matter how hard you tried
You couldn't make me feel any better about myself
All I ever needed was your love,
But you couldn't even give me that
I was everything you wanted
But you wouldn't let yourself love me
And now it's 3am
I sit and think about you and I once again
As I let the blade run across my skin
Praying that all of this will pay off one day
Praying that one day you'll see me differently
Praying that you'll love me
Tears mixed with blood
Make for a good story
If you ever live to tell the tale
Of how badly one person hurt you.
(A/N: before I let you go, I'd like to say that whenever I read this over I get extremely pissed at myself. Can you tell how obsessed with this girl I was? I made her life a living hell simply because she wouldn't love me back. I was literally obsessed with her. You should read my journal from the time I wrote this, literally every page is filled with her and things that were happening between us. If you're in a situation where you love a girl and they don't love you back, don't fucking get mad at them because they can't love a girl. If they are straight, respect that. You can still love them, just don't get pissed when they don't love you back because it's just like you not being about to love someone of the opposite gender, they simply cannot love someone of the same gender in that way. Please don't break them like I broke her.)
