Entertaining a Small Thought

3rd Arc Part 2: Hidden Emotions and Thoughts

"Hey! Rin!"

I turned around as I was walking through the courtyard when someone called my name. Upon turning around, I saw Kaede running up to me with an eager smile.

"Kaede? What's up? I thought you would be exploring with Shuichi."

"Shuichi's fine without me for this. I actually wanted to explore the new areas with you. We haven't actually investigated together a lot yet." Kaede told me with a bright smile.

"Hmm? I guess that's true." I hummed with a thoughtful tone. "I don't mind you helping me. But I have to ask, does this have to do with the Insect Meet and Greet? Are you trying to make sure I'm not doing anything like that again?"

Kaede recoiled slightly before giving me a nervous expression as she tried to deny the accusation.

"What, no! That's not it. I just wanted to help you out today. I haven't really done that yet."

"I see. Sorry, I've just been thinking about that mistake of mine recently." I sighed. Yeah, that mistake among all the other ones I've made recently. "I'm sorry...about all of that. Again."

"You don't have to apologize for it anymore. You already got your punishment for it with Kokichi when Gonta trapped you both in his lab." Kaede then pouted a bit as she crossed her arms. "I'm still a little upset that you decided that was the best way to do things, though. But we're still friends. We all make mistakes, the both of us know that better than most, I'm sure."

"...Yeah. We do." I nodded solemnly.

Kaede then brought out her cheerful expression as she brought her hands together.

"That's enough sad talk. Let's hurry and start looking around!" I couldn't help but give a dry chuckle at that.

"You're more cheerful than usual today. I'm glad you're starting to become happier again."

"Well, it's all thanks to you, Shuichi, and Kaito, if I'm honest," Kaede said. "You three just keep giving me strength to keep going." I gave her a soft smile in response, her cheerfulness spreading to me.

"I'm happy I was able to help, though I'm sure you could have gotten this far on your own. You're plenty strong enough." I said as I started walking to our destination.

"...Without you all, I never could have even made it even a fraction this far." I heard Kaede whisper.

I did my best to hide my frown when I heard that. That's...not true. Kaede is so much stronger than she realizes. She's stronger than me, that's for sure. If I was even half as strong as she was, then maybe I wouldn't have made those mistakes. Maybe this newfound aching in my chest wouldn't be here.

I instinctively grabbed my chest at the thought of the dull pain that had appeared last night. It's back. I'm not injured. Nothing's wrong with me. So why does it ache so much? Why does it hurt? If I ignore it, it'll eventually go away like it did last night, but it'll come back, I know it.

It hurts. Why does my chest hurt like this?

"Rin? Are you okay?"

I snapped out of my trance and quickly let go of my chest as I turned around and gave Kaede a forced smile to reassure her.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" I asked her, the dull aching subsiding with this distraction. "We should get going and check out those new areas. We might find something incredible!" I said with a forced excitement as I picked up the pace, not wanting to linger on the topic any longer.

Kaede bit her bottom lip, seemingly doubting my words before she started to walk alongside me, keeping her eye on me all the while. Great...I'm making her worried. Again. I'm grateful that Kaede's worried about me, but I can't keep relying on her or Kaito or anyone else to help fix my problems. I'm an adult, so I shouldn't rely on a kid to help me fix my own problems.