Entertaining a Small Thought

2nd Arc Part 1: Sleepless Thoughts

2nd Arc: Ghosts From the Past that Haunt the Future

Daily Life

Have you ever had one of those nights where you knew you weren't getting any sleep? I immediately knew it was going to be one of those nights after I entered the AV room to think. There were too many thoughts to try and unpack. Too many worries I had to handle. Worst yet was the possibility of more nightmares since now I had images of possible friends' bodies stuck in my head.

Sleep is for the weak anyway! Who needs it?

I find myself kicking myself after the morning announcement played after the restless night. I didn't find a single solution. I just felt worse, not to mention tired now.

I was laying on the couch that was in the room, staring at the ceiling while rubbing the small bags that had formed under my eyes.

"Why does this feel so familiar?" I find myself asking.

I spent the whole night in a panic-infused rut of thought, trying to solve every problem that plagued me, yet I didn't feel as tired as I thought I would. In fact, it felt almost normal to spend the night awake constantly thinking about things. Was I used to pulling all nighters? If so, I can probably assume I didn't live the healthiest lifestyle.

I mean, I already figured that since the only real meal I would have during my stay here was breakfast, and even then it would be small. The rest I would snack on things I took from breakfast throughout the rest of the day since I was busy trying to stop the killing game.

Even so, I have a feeling I would have done that whether I was in a killing game or not.

Man... I could really go for a real breakfast. Like the one Kirumi made that one time.

I immediately grimace at the memory.

Right... Kirumi...

I lifted my hand up to stare at the gloves that I hadn't taken off. The same black gloves. I fiddled with the metal loop that was attached to the back of the glove. I sighed. Some potential, huh? What makes it worse is the fact I almost know for certain this will happen again. I mean, the game isn't over, so that means more motives.

Sure, the mastermind themselves had to start the killing game, but the next motive could encourage any one of us to kill another. Even me.

Would I kill if I had a good enough reason? I originally dismissed the thought entirely, but now I'm doubting myself. Tsumugi seemed to know exactly who I was, so maybe Monokuma does too. They might not have at first, but watching me over the course of those few days may have given them the clues they needed to figure me out.

Funny. I still can't figure myself out. Do I even still want to know? These endless thoughts were the ones that kept me up all night. I groan. I really need to stop thinking about this. But of course, just telling myself that isn't going to stop me from being haunted by Kirumi and Tsumugi's deaths.

God, it would be so much easier if I could just forget, but that's impossible. I could never forget these people...my friends. They're all I have at this point.

The morning announcement played a while ago, so everyone's probably already at the dining hall. They're probably worried about me. I am hungry too. But...I really don't want to talk to the others. They probably want to know what was happening last night. The things Tsumugi said, what I said, those people...they probably don't trust me at all because of it. They would be justified in that choice too. I can't even trust myself. I sighed as I continued to fiddle with the gloves, sleep refusing to claim my consciousness.