Entertaining a Small Thought

5th Arc Part 2: Our Final Opportunity

"Kaede?"

"Ah!" Kaede jumped when Shuichi called out her name. "Oh...Shuichi."

"I thought I would find you in here," Shuichi said as he fully entered the Ultimate Pianist's lab. Kaede's expression just dropped a little as she turned back to look at the piano she was sitting next to. Shuichi could only frown more when he saw her downtrodden expression.

"So you were looking for me? Did you need something?" Kaede asked in a soft voice as she stared at the piano keys in front of her, hunching over a little more as she spoke.

"I wanted to talk to you about what Tenko mentioned before," Shuichi admitted as he sat down next to her on the piano stool. "Are you really okay?"

"I...I'll be okay," Kaede told him after taking a shaky breath.

"So you aren't right now, then." Shuichi deduced. Kaede gave a small, timid nod before responding.

"It hurts, but nothing more than that. I just... I really did think Rin and I were still friends, even after everything that happened, but now..."

"Kaede..." Shuichi tried to say something, but his words were caught in his throat when Kaede suddenly leaned onto him, placing her head right onto his shoulder, causing the detective to tense up at the sudden contact, even with how often she had done this with him.

"Sorry. Do you mind if we stay like this for a while?" Kaede asked in a whisper.

"I don't mind," Shuichi replied with a small smile.

And so they sat there in comfortable silence. It wasn't often that the two of them just enjoyed each other's company like this without the need for discussion or any activity. It was nice, despite the underlining sadness in the air. A sadness that was then amplified by Kaede's next few words.

"...Hey, Shuichi. Am I a good person?" Kaede suddenly asked him.

"What? Of course you are. Why would you think otherwise?" Shuichi responded with mild shock at the question.

"Sorry. My mind has been stuck in the past today." Kaede let out a sigh. "Do you remember those first few days? When we were still a united group of 17 instead of a fractured group of 8?"

"Yeah. Back then, we all were strangers to each other. None of us knew what we were getting ourselves into or what would happen. And I... I was still hiding from the truth."

"But now you're the one who refused to turn away from it, no matter what it is. None of us can do the same, it seems."

"That may be, but I still feel like I'm still just the same as back then. I still wonder if I'm doing the right thing by pursuing the truth. In my head, I know that what I'm doing is right and that I have to reveal the truth so that we all have the best chance of surviving. And yet it still makes me feel awful after everything is said and done." Shuichi said as he thought about Rin's anger during and after the last trial.

"You shouldn't worry about that anymore. No matter what anyone says, you're doing your best to help us survive. No one can say otherwise, no matter what they think or feel." Kaede told him. "Besides, you're not the only one who feels like they haven't really changed. Actually, I have changed, but not for the better."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, back then, I think I was more confident than I am now. People looked to me for leadership, remember? But that nearly led to me killing someone innocent. I nearly became the blackened." Kaede frowned as her lips trembled slightly. "Back then, I made a promise to get us all out of here, but then I went and did that. I promised myself I wouldn't ever do something like that again, but in the end, I've just ended up doing nothing instead, huh?"