If We're A Fairytale (Completed)

Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Today I went to the blood bank to check for the progress of the donation thing, but still there was the usual sympathetic look from the staff nurse that always meant, “We’re sorry”. Each day that they’d tell me that they were stomping on the little light of hope in my heart but I refused to give in. I would never lose hope ever again, not in this lifetime anymore.

“Are you sure you made the details clear for them? Maybe they overlooked it or something, maybe someone has already donated that is compatible with my daughter. There has to be.” I pleaded for the umpteenth time for the past two weeks. With each passing day of nothingness my daughter was getting closer of the worst. I couldn’t just watch her struggle to breath or to burn from fevers, I couldn’t watch them pile in the room just to resuscitate her because her heartbeats were dangerously low. I couldn’t even sleep at night because I’m scared I wouldn’t hear the alarm of the machines attached to her when she’s having another fluctuation in her vital signs.

Nate hugged me by the shoulders and I snuggled closer in his chest, burying my tear stricken face on him and he drowned my soft sobs with his cooing. “I want to go home, Nate. Please bring me home.” I choked and he looked at me unsurely. It was the first time I asked him to bring me home; they usually have to drag me home just to get a couple of hours of sleep.

“Sure.” He said without asking any further, he must have sensed that I didn’t want to talk, I just wanted to get away from here, from these ignorant people, with their fake sympathetic looks. As if they knew how it felt to have a daughter that was fighting for her life. They didn’t know the fear I have each and every second that I might wake up to see that my daughter has stopped breathing or that I would never see her smile ever again.

We drove in silence and when we got to the house, I darted my way to my room and I opened the dresser. I rummaged through it looking for the things I treasured ever since my daughter was born. Nate followed me, with his calculating eyes but he didn’t say a word, he just followed after me and stood on the doorway.

I pulled out a box and plopped it on the mattress and sat, the bed protesting from my weight. “What’s that?” Nate said, standing in front of me.

I took off the lid and took the contents; there was my daughter’s first set of infant clothes and Nate’s eyes widened with a glimmer of surprise and something more within its depths. “The things I treasured ever since our daughter was born. I wanted to show it to you, and maybe if they see this they’d help us... they have to know that our daughter is the best girl in the world and she needs their help... badly.” I said, even for my own ears I sounded psychotic but it was what I was thinking and hoping.

“Jane...” He choked as he knelt and hugged me tight. “We’ll find a donor, I know it... and when that happens we’ll collect more of these, dresses, pictures and stuffs. We’ll do things with our daughter; we’ll take her to places, we’ll take her to amusement parks and picnics and we’d be happy.” And that was my undoing as my tears flooded my eyes again and loud sobs shook me, I trembled by the intensity of it. He rubbed my back soothingly but it only made me cry harder. I wonder how I could have too much tears in me, I cry every freaking time. But every time that my tears would touch my cheek, Nate was there to comfort me, he would tell me things that could make me smile and start believing again.

After what I felt hours of crying, my tears have finally stopped and Nate smiled at me, we were lying on the bed, my head on his chest and his arms around me. I didn’t realize we were already lying on the bed, cuddling. I snuggled closer to him and inhaled his familiar smell I closed my eyes. “Thanks for being here.” I said and he mumbled his yes, after few more heartbeats I sat up and started looking for pictures. He stood up too and started looking on the things inside the box. He smiled at some of the pictures and he caressed the toys I kept, “These are cute, I wish I have seen her teetering.” He said and I felt guilt wash over me.