If We're A Fairytale (Completed)

Chapter 44

Chapter 44

NATE’S POV

I strode off down the east wing hall of the hospital; the lights were dimmed as it was already past eleven. I was fuming with anger. I knew it was because of what Jane said. She was right, I know, but why couldn’t I make myself agree with her. I stopped on my tracks and leaned my back on the cold stonewall of the hospital, I inhaled deeply but instead of fresh calming air, sterile air assaulted my nose. I sighed heavily and turned to lean my forehead on the cool wall, shutting my eyes.

What was the right thing to do?

 

Donate?

 

Why should I?

I groaned in frustration, I wished I wasn’t compatible with that child that I don’t even know. I wished I were compatible with my daughter instead. She’s dying for God’s sake!

I wish I had the same resolve and heart as Jane, how could she think like that, how could she worry for other people’s child while her heart broke for our daughter? I stayed like that for I didn’t know how long, I hoped for the ground to swallow me and never spit me out again. Was I losing hope? But it was me who always said to believe… it was supposed to be me who was strong.

Jane was stronger; I could never be as strong and as tender hearted as her. Behind my closed eyes, Jane’s words repeated on my head over and over again, taunting me. I knew she was right and I was biased, I wanted a donor for my own daughter, I wanted to become her donor but I couldn’t, God forgive me but I couldn’t! Instead I was compatible with another child, what was I to do, could I make myself watch another child live and go on with life while my daughter struggle for her own life, to catch for one precious breath.

My heart quenched and tears welled behind my eyes. I shouldn’t be crying but the helplessness building up inside me was overbearing and only few more before I explode with pieces. 

I sighed again and dragged myself towards my daughter’s room, when I got there it was no surprise to see Jane was already inside. Two watchers weren’t allowed inside so I couldn’t go in while she was there but I still went inside. I wanted to be with both of them even for just a second. I wanted to feel them both inside my embrace.

I entered and stopped just before the thick green curtain that was separating the door from the inside of the clean room, this was how far I could go. I leaned on the wall and listened as Jane hummed a lullaby for my daughter. Her voice was soft and sweet and it gripped my heart like a vice.

She stopped humming and I heard my daughter’s rasped voice, “Mommy?” she said. I parted the green curtain and welcomed by the plastic curtain, but it was transparent so I could still see my daughter and Jane behind it.

“How are you feeling?” Jane asked as she held Nath’s hand, my daughter smiled weakly at her. Lost was the vibrant smile but the twinkle in her eyes was still there and I hope it would never leave there.

“I’m okay…why are you crying?” Nath asked and my heart pinched again, this time with so much ferocity that I winced.