Chapter 28
I didn't sleep at all last night after Nate left the room. I didn’t stop crying either, if you would ask me why, I was crying for myself. I came up with the decision to stop hurting the person I've been hurting all through these years. Looking back, I've been blinded with the false hopes my heart kept on feeding my fantasies. In life, not everything is about you, not everything you desire would be yours that was what I learned through all this time.
Hope.
Love.
Pain.
The door creaked and I snapped out from my dazed state, I looked to see Nath peering from the ajar door, her eyes full of worries. I smiled and ushered her to come inside and she did without further ado.
"Hi mommy." she said and stood beside the bed, with her hands on her back and she looked at me under her long thick lashes.
I patted the space next to me, "Come here, baby." I said then she climbed up the bed and snuggled at the crook of my neck, hugging me tightly as if she's afraid I would leave her.
"Why, baby? Is there something wrong?" I asked and she partly detached herself from me, studying my eyes with her own innocent emerald orbs. It's actually nice to see my daughter so worried about me, but on the other hand, I don't want to worry her at all.
After few moments of looking into my face she pouted, "You've been hurting." It was not a question; she stated it as if she could read me like an open book. Too intelligent for her own age. My eyes must be swollen from crying all night.
"How do you say that?" I asked as I shifted to get comfortable, I combed her hair absentmindedly.
She leaned her head at the crook of my neck, "You were crying... You're sad." she mumbled, I could feel her chest vibrating as she spoke, "Did someone hurted you mommy?" she asked and my chest clenched painfully as my eyes started to burn.
"No one, honey. I'm okay..." lies. She abruptly parted from me and looked at me with her disbelieving eyes, shiny from unshed tears.
"You're not okay. You're crying and hurted, and you don't tell Nath! We are bestest friends right?" she said, rationalizing with me, a chuckle escaped my lips despite the lone tear cascading through my cheek.
"I love you, you know that right?" I smiled weakly but I was positive that it looked like more of a grimace.
She bobbed her head up and down, "I love you much more and more mommy." she said and hugged me again, this time she settled there comfortably, I paced my breathing with hers and realized her breathing was a bit faster than mine and her body temperature felt a bit hotter than my own temperature.
"Tell me something mom..." she mumbled and I racked my brain for something I could tell her. "Why are you crying, mom." she asked again and I realized she wanted to know why I was hurting like she said a while ago.
"Mommy is going to do something she doesn't know if she will regret in the future." I answered vaguely, I was sure she wouldn't understand no matter how I simplify everything, and her young mind didn't need something like this to taint it.
"What is it?" she asked and I recollected what I have decided last night.
"Mommy will stop hurting the person she loves, baby." I choked as more tears started cascading in my cheeks and I tried my best to hide it from her. Why does stopping hurt like hell? Why does my heart feel like it's being squeezed to death?
"Why? Are you hurting that person?" she asked innocently her voice soft and muffled.
I nodded my head weakly, yeah; I've been hurting him, when all he ever did was to love me, "Yeah. Mommy has been so bad to that person and I want to stop it now." I uttered and wiped the tears drying up in my tear-stricken face.
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If We're A Fairytale (Completed)
Romance"Another thing, promise me....." I swallowed the lump in my throat. My tears and his were falling, betraying our facade and showing the pain we were desperately trying to hide. I can do this. This is for him and for me. I took my hand from him and k...