Chapter 32
It was a Saturday night when I opened up the ‘engagement’ topic to my daughter. We were lounging comfortably at the living room in front of the television, watching Toy Story 3 (for the thirtieth time), while eating a bowl of cookies ‘n cream.
“Hey baby… I have to say something… about uhm…” I trailed, unsure how to start explaining, and she reluctantly averted her gaze from the movie towards me. I gulped.
After briefly closing my eyes, I started, “Uncle Connor and I will be getting married, baby…” I caressed her cheek, “he’s going to be your dad soon…” I dropped the bomb at once; truthfully, I didn’t know how I would approach her about this. Mom advised me to tell it to her slowly and let her absorb it on her own pace. I was waiting for her questions firing at me but instead, her faced contorted in confusion. I guess she didn’t understand what I meant.
“As in you are like lovies?” she finally asked making me release the breath I realized I was holding. I smiled weakly and nodded my head.
“Yeah, what do you say, baby?” I asked and her lips quirked down in a thoughtful expression.
After some moment of silence between us, she shrugged her shoulders noncommittally and smiled at me.
“Okay.” She said as she returned her attention back to Buzz as he spoke Spanish. A chuckle escaped my lips, of course she wouldn’t know the extent of that… she’s a child after all, she’s supposed to be innocent and protected from everything.
“Should I call him daddy?” She mumbled softly, breaking my train of thoughts, her soft voice almost drowned by the television’s volume.
“Of course, but only if you want to…”
“Won’t my real daddy get mad? Maybe he doesn’t want me to call other people dad.” Other people? Since when Connor became ‘other people’?
She continued, still without looking at me and there was something in her tone that I couldn’t name.
“Your real dad will always be your dad, Connor will only be your second dad but he will love you as much as real dad will do…” I explained softly and I saw a tear rolling down her cheek, her gaze was still fixated at the movie with her legs crossed.
“Does my real dad love me?” She asked and I could see a little girl looking for the fatherly love that was stolen from her even before she first opened her eyes. I could see a little girl missing and longing for warmth that only a father could give. I longed for it too… when my dad died; I missed him so much that I wanted him badly by my side, to feel his comfortable warmth, to smell his aftershave and to have and to have him pat my head. I longed for his sweet talks about how lovely I am and how he told me too many times how much I meant to him and how deep his love was for me and my mom.
“Of course, baby. He loves you so much…” I said as I swallowed the urge to burst into tears.
Her head snapped on my direction, her eyes were shiny from tears and her lips were quivering as soft sobs came out from her clamped mouth.
“Really?” She asked looking for reassurance… I knew because I sought for it too.
“Really.” I smiled and inched to hug her, to envelope her with my love. How I wished my warmth was enough but I knew exactly how it felt to grow without a father, it’s incomplete… something was amiss.
In the end, we weren’t able to finish the movie, like we didn’t know the ending at all. Nath had fallen asleep right then and I spent the night telling her how much I love her. The whole night was not enough for me to express even a quarter of everything.
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If We're A Fairytale (Completed)
Romance"Another thing, promise me....." I swallowed the lump in my throat. My tears and his were falling, betraying our facade and showing the pain we were desperately trying to hide. I can do this. This is for him and for me. I took my hand from him and k...
