Bottoms Up, Forget Tonight (Revelry Series #2)

Hakbang 38

"Cahira, please fucking take me back. Please, baby... Just... take me back..."

Paulit ulit kong naririnig sa utak ang sinabi niya kahit limang minuto na ang lumipas, at bumitaw na nga siya sa yakap. My mind and heart couldn't process it all.

I couldn't process that Zathrian is begging me to take him back...

Ang sakit marinig pero bakit parang may humahaplos din sa akin? How can words feel so good and painful at the same time?

Heal and hurt you at the same time...

I bit my trembling lips and looked at him. He's standing infront of me, eyes weary with dried up tears on his cheeks. Hair disheveled but still looking so perfectly good infront of me.

My heart skipped. Halos mapapikit ako nang naramdaman ang mas pagbilis ng tibok ng puso. So fucking nice! Alam mong hindi pwede, Cahira Hennessy!

I took a deep breath and smiled bitterly.

"L-Lasing ka lang, Zathrian." Nautal ko pang sabi bago nag-iwas ng tingin.

Hindi ko kaya tignan ang mga mata niyang punong puno ng sakit at pangungulila.

Hindi ko kaya...

Hindi ko kayang tignan siyang ganyan.

"Lasing ka lang..." ulit ko sa garalgal na boses na.

I saw him move in my peripheral vision. I bit my lips harder as my heart boomed more.

Tahimik kong hinihiling na sana magising si Chalmer at sumulpot bigla sa harap namin. Na sana umiral ang kaepalan niya ngayon kung kailan kailangan ko!

I was caught off guard with this situation so I don't know what to say. Nabablangko ako.

Pero hindi ba dapat kahit na gulat ako sa sitwasyon, alam ko pa rin ang dapat isagot?

Na hindi pwede. Na hindi ko na siya tatanggapin kasi matagal na kaming tapos. Na nakalimot na ako kaya dapat tigilan niya na ako.

Dapat ganoon pero bakit... hindi ko masabi? That's the right thing to say but why I couldn't fucking say it?!

I was still busy questioning myself when I heard him speak.

"Even if I'm sober, I would still ask you to take me back..."

I took a deep breath and stared at him. I'm lost for words. I couldn't even formulate one sentence!

"For years since we broke up... all I want is for you to take me back..." he continued.

Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa lapag dahil ayaw kong makita niya ang nanggigilid kong luha. Ayaw kong makita niyang nasasaktan ako para sa aming dalawa.

Hirap palang malasing nito. Biglang nagpapaiyak!

Pero sayang 'no? Hanggang ngayon nasasayangan pa rin ako kahit natanggap ko na naman.

Kung hindi lang demonyo ang tito niya... hindi sana nagkaganito ang lahat.

I sighed heavily. The pain's lingering in my whole system. I thought this wouldn't hurt me so much coz it's been years already. I was able to move forward.

But then it still hurts the same...

Hindi pala nabawasan 'yong sakit. Natabunan lang kaya ngayon na bumalik siya... ganoon pa rin. Masakit pa rin.

But I've moved on, right? Even if it still hurts me... I've moved on.

Pwede ka namang masaktan kahit hindi mo na mahal, 'di ba?