"The second we met" |rustbert|

XXXII. why does he hate me?

*Rust's Pov*

I was scared, I am scared. I don't know what he is willing to do to stop me from being with anyone, but why...why does he hate me so much? I thought it was over. No, it is over, I did my job...I don't get it. I've done so much yet, he still is after me.

*Albert's POV*

I sighed, everything didn't feel...real, everything moved on so quickly but I am  still stuck in the past, I should move on too but how? I don't know what's Trust's problem either, what does he have against Rust? I never have got it, Rust told me they were friends yet, it seems like they would kill each other if they had the chance, this is just so confusing, maybe I should stop thinking about it too much.

I looked through the refrigerator, damnit, did I forget to go to the store last week? I whined and got dressed somewhat decently, then left the house.

*Rust's POV*

    I started realizing I haven't eaten anything today but, Albert couldn't leave my head. I sighed and went to make something to eat. I was hungry but I didn't want to make a proper meal, so I just made a quick sandwich and headed to the living room.

I was laying on the couch until I was disturbing by a knocking at the door? I don't remember inviting anyone over...I opened the door slightly and peaked out, Albert! "Hey! You didn't tell me you were coming over" I laughed and opened the door.

"Yeah sorry for just coming out of nowhere" Albert said sitting on the couch and sighed "no don't worry about it!" I said and smiled while getting a drink from the kitchen. I sat down next to him curious of what he was watching, He turned and smiled at me. I felt my cheek heat up and I smiled back. I loved his smile...I looked back to the TV and slightly leaned on his shoulder.

*Albert POV*

I looked over slightly and saw Rust leaning on me, I blushed slightly, why would Trust lie about him? I don't understand him...If Rust hasn't done anything wrong to him, right? I'm not really sure since I don't really know how they met..."Hey Rust?" I asked, "Yeah?" He responded,I was hesitant for a second but I was too curious to stay quiet "how did you and Trust meet?" I asked he stayed quiet for a bit, "I um一want something to drink?" I looked at him as he stood up. I could read his face, he was clearly nervous but why? It had to mean they didn't meet on good terms, but I just brushed it off, I guess it wasn't any of my business, right? Yeah "can you get me a coke please?" I asked and turned back to the TV.

I might have ruined the mood earlier, the silence in the house was loud, "so what do you wanna do now?" He asked, I thought of something funny and laughed a bit "I dunno makeout" I said and he punched my arm and I held it dramatically "owchhhh you are hurting me i'm leaving" I whined in an annoying tone. He looked aside and sighed "fine go then" he replied and crossed his arms looking away from me, I sat up properly and scoffed "yeah fine" I said and sat up looked over to him, I didn't want to stop my stubborn act and was really waiting until he stopped first, I have to admit I think I'm taking it a bit too far but it's all jokes, right?

Rust's POV

I looked down and away from Albert, was he really going to leave? I didn't actually believe his words, partially, I turned over and walked to the kitchen. My stomach was aching and I honestly just wanted to get something to eat to fill the emptiness in my stomach.

I turned over and he opened the door, was he serious? I looked over, crossing my arms and leaning over to the fridge and looked at him with half lidded annoyed eyes, trying to do my best impression of 'being mad'. I stopped for a second. I completely forgot why this started to begin with, "ok fine I'm sorry" I sighed and stopped leaning on the fridge. He looked at me and shook his head, "no its okay, I started it" he mumbled shamefully, I looked down to my feet and sighed, I felt like I'd done something wrong. "I'm sorry I took the joke too far" he said, I looked up and shook my head "no its okay I think we both did honestly" I chuckled and turned around to awkwardly pretend as if I was planning to do something in the kitchen.

Albert's POV

I sat back down on the couch and looked at the still playing tv. It was pretty windy outside now that I think about it. I grabbed the controller and flipped through the channels; there was nothing of interest really but I didn't want to watch whatever was there prior.

I looked briefly at Rust, curious of what he was still doing in the kitchen but he seemed busy, so I didn't want to bother, at this point I've already done enough. I leaned comfortably on the couch as the wind ruffled the leaves, which made loud whistling noises near the door and windows. I stopped at the news hoping for a weather report, I was too comfortable and lazy to reach over to grab my phone anyways. There wasn't anything about the weather, I must have missed it I assume. I didn't like watching the news, when I did it made me feel bad or just kept me in thought, though I should since "I have to see the reality of things" but I rather not or well at least now, I wouldn't want to get in such a foul state right now, or well is that even how you use that word? I think so.

I turned over to Rust again and smiled, he is so kind to me. All he has done is make me feel better, so why? Why would I be doubtful about him? We met out of the blue after all, right? I wouldn't...make sense, but why is trust so persistent about it? He has to have a reason to be so, I don't know, mean? It's not the right word, he isn't mean to rust he has shown remorse and kindness towards him so he's not mean, it has to be something else, they have to have something at got them to this point there's no way that they would adjust have this 'love hate relationship' for no reason...wait why is that even my problem? Maybe I'm just putting too much thought on this whole thing, I should just let it go. 

I turned back to the tv and laid on the couch "what are you doing?" I asked, I didn't get a response for a while, "nothing just making something quick, I'm hungry" he then spoke, I nodded as if he could see me "oh alright" I responded not wanting to make him feel like I'm just leaving him on that note. I thought back to the whole car incident, what are we? Labeling our relationship would be hard wouldn't it? I mean he told me he loved me, and well I said it back, so what now? We still act like nothing happened, like that didn't happen, I don't get it, I wish it was just that simple to ask- or well it is but the topic itself is hard to just start and I'm sure it would probably be awkward, but I want to know, what are we? Surely not just friends, that's not normal obviously, I mean I've never felt like this for anyone, not even Lana, he makes me feel different, I mean I'm sure I loved Lana, I did I was in love with her, but it's not the same feeling for different people, right? Do I love Rust? I don't know. Not fully sure at the moment, I wish I could talk about this stuff to others, but I'm scared of judgement, maybe for coming out or just the whole situation overall, how would they take it? Everyone thinks I'm still grieving over Lana, and though I am, I think I love Rust.

I think I'm in love with Rust.

Rust's POV

I was lying, I wasn't making something to eat more so I didn't know what to say. Trust keeps telling me that he's going to come soon and I know it's not going to be something good, it's never something good. Why does he do this? It's been over long ago. Why can't he let it go, let me go. He's so frustrating, what does he want from me? He obviously doesn't have a reason since he never wants to tell me, I hate him, so much. I tugged on my hair slightly and looked down in frustration what does he fucking want? I don't understand him. Why can he just let me be...let me be happy for once.

For once, I actually feel happy, I'm happy. Why does he hate me so much? Everything that I did, I regret it, and I'll live with that regret for as long as I live, isn't that enough for him? I wish he could just tell me what he wants, he's always just holding hatred against me, he wasn't always like this, what changed? What changed his perspective on me? I turned my phone off, I don't want him to come. What if I move away? Somewhere far from him, but Albert.

I can't just leave Albert out of the blue either, I sighed and went over to the couch and smiled "scoot over'' I said and poked his face, he whined as he sat up straight and looked over to me "there" he said in a whiny tone, I laughed and sat next to him "you normally watch the news?" I asked, looking at the tv, he shook his head and I nodded as a reply "well I could play a movie if you like" I said turning over to him tilting my head slightly "oh! Yeah sure, which movie though? Can I choose" he asked grinning, I nodded and he instantly grabbed the controller.

(haha it's me again!!)