When We Were Young

Forty:

Forty:

A week shouldn't have seemed like such a long time for the world to change. But it was the two of them mostly alone at campus, with the Frat house completely devoid of people. It was like living together. Alina had even packed a bag for the occasion so she didn't have to go back to the dorm, and she was dreading when break would end, and she wouldn't get to be with Aleksander all of the time. Classes would return, and they'd have to go back to pretending they weren't dating so no one would tell Mal about it and ruin his progress.

She wished telling him didn't seem like tearing her world apart, but when she thought about it, it was like ripping away her past going into an uncertain future. She wanted to desperately believe that Aleksander wanted her, but it was hard getting past old feelings. One Wednesday, it rained and hailed, and so they stayed inside, wrapped under the blankets, too tired and too cold to do anything.

They were wrapped up around each other, and their foreheads and nose touching, gripping each other's hands. "You know what?" Alina said. "I don't really know anything real about you."

Aleksander frowned. "What do you mean? We've talked. You know about my dad, and my mom and..."

"I know, but I mean---do you have food allergies? What was your favorite birthday? Ever broken a bone? That kind of talking."

Aleksander rolled over so he was on his back and pulled her on top of his chest. "I have no food allergies. Baghra didn't believe in birthdays, and I didn't start having them until I was in private school and Genya insisted on throwing me my first. I've never broken a bone. What about you?"

"My fifth birthday, my parents were on good terms with my grandfather on my dads' side. I got sick that year, and he helped them out, I guess. Anyway, he came and spent the day with us, and we went ice skating, and I made this big, stern older gentleman ice skate with me and he fell and laughed, and Dad said it was the first time he'd ever seen that happen. He took us to this fancy hotel for lunch too, and the ice cream had gold leaf in it, and I ate so much of it I had to run through the halls to get the sugar out of my system and then I collapsed on my dads' shoulder."

Aleksander smiled at her. "What's your favorite ice cream?"

"Mint," she said, "because you get chocolate with it every time. Real chocolate."

"Broken bones?" Aleksander asked.

"My arm, climbing a tree when I was younger. The orphanage caretaker was furious with me for a month."

"Food allergies?"

"None."

"Good. Plenty of things for us to enjoy. You know I plan on showing you the world?"

She laughed. "I might let you."

"Might?"

"Might," she repeated.

Aleksander smiled at her and brushed back a strand of her hair that was pressed against her forehead. "I like the sound of that. That means that you aren't planning on running anytime soon."

"I'm used to people leaving," she whispered, as if she were afraid to say it. "Or not caring. I want to believe that you aren't going to leave me, before I'm sure that you are..."

"Are what?"

"Are who I want," she said, "for good."

He kissed her on her forehead, then her nose, and then her lips. "I'm so sorry, Alina. I hate that you were ever made to feel that way. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not giving up on you. I want you."

"I still find that weird," she said, "our first meeting was terrible. I dumped a drink on you. You were a jerk. What made you even want me?"

"Honestly?" Aleksander said.

"Honestly."

"Do you remember your nineteenth birthday at all? Last year?"

Alina froze. "Oh god. What did I do?"

"It was actually what we didn't do. So, Mal had thrown that birthday party for you. I was begrudgingly apart of it, because I was Vice President of the Frat, so I had to look out for all the underclassmen. You were drunk off your ass---"

Alina winced. "I remember the hangover."

"Well, at one point, I ended up locking myself in my room trying to sleep because I had practice in the morning. You must have thought I was Mal, because you went into my room, and snuggled with me and were saying his name. When you woke up that morning, you realized it was me, and you were so horrified and so worried we'd slept together I thought it was cute."

"You thought it was cute?"

Aleksander nodded. "Not the normal reaction I have when I sleep with someone, you know. That's why I became obsessed with you. Because most people want me for something. You...you didn't want me for anything."

Alina buried her face in her hands. "That sounds terrible."

"It's not though. I come from a world where everyone has a price. You proved to my mom, and to me, that you don't have a price. And I...."

"What?"

He coughed. "It just...it um...it means a lot that you did that."

"Well, it means a lot to me that you never thought of me as Mal's best friend. You always thought of me as Alina."

"You were all I ever saw, from the start."

Alina kissed him, and then the two fell asleep in each other's arms.