When We Were Young

Sixty-seven: Present Day

Sixty-seven: Present Day

A/N: Trigger warning for miscarriage mention.

    Aleksander and Alina were at The Crow Club. It had changed owners, and it wasn't near like it had been when they used to come back in college. Kaz had had some financial issues, and he'd had to sell it so it was under new management. "I found this the other day. I wasn't sure if you would want it, but um..." he too the image from his pocket. The photograph was blurry, and old, and it was already hard enough to see the tiny image there.

    Alina took the picture from him, and her face softened. "The ultrasound."

    "Yeah," he said, "I mean, I know...I know that things didn't turn out like we planned, but we came so close to getting what we wanted..."

    Alina reached out and took his hand. "I'm sorry things didn't work out. Sometimes, I think it's my fault. I was never supposed to be with you, and if I'd just done what I was supposed to, I could have saved us a whole lot of trouble."

    Aleksander squeezed her hand. "It wasn't trouble, being with you, Alina. I fucking loved you. I still love you."

    "I still love you too, Aleks," she said, "I never wanted to leave...I never wanted to not be with you. I was taken against my will. You've got to know that. I wasn't leaving you. Ever. And the baby..."

    "I know," said Aleksander, "Mal told me everything. The Fjerdians made it seem like you were leaving me."

    "Yes," said Alina, "they forced me to write that letter, and the stress of everything made me lose the baby. I wasn't the same after, and that was why I wouldn't see you. I thought you'd hate me."

    "Alina," he said, "I could never hate you."

    "Can I ask you something?" Alina said. "Without you getting mad at me?"

    "Anything," he said.

    "Why weren't you the one that saved me? Why was it Mal?"

    Aleksander sighed and ran his hand through my hair. "Mal...fuck, Lina. Mal had a whole life that you didn't know about. He started off working for my mother, and then he was working for your grandmother. He was your guard, Lin. I wanted to help him. He wouldn't let me. He said that it was too dangerous, and that if I died, you would never forgive him. So, he forced me to stay. I kept on reaching out, but you were such a mess after losing the baby he kept on telling me to stay away."

    Alina pursed her lips together. "That was when we tried dating. I couldn't. I couldn't stomach anyone touching me."

    Aleksander frowned. "Did the prince..."

    Alina shook her head. "No, he never touched me. He truly only wanted me because he was trying to map The Fold so that he could weaponize it. He took me out to The Fold, and he gave me supplies and he told me that I would only go home once I mapped the whole thing for him. I was alone in the dark. For months and months, until Mal managed to come and find me. You.... you gave him the maps, didn't you?"

    Aleksander sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't know what else to do, Alina. You and me, we were supposed to move in together. You never showed. You vanished for months and months..."

    "I know," said Alina, "I was foolish to think that the prince wouldn't try to do something. We were so happy, and I just wanted to cling to it. I should have..."

    He squeezed her hand. "There wasn't anything that you could do, Alina. They were going to try and get you either way. You had something that they wanted. People like that, they don't stop until they get what they want. I'm sorry about the baby. I'm sorry about the time that we lost. I'm so, so sorry that I ruined your life. I shouldn't have gotten involved with you, but I couldn't stay away from you. You were..."

    "Like the sun?" Alina finished, with a half-smile. She reached up her wrist and showed him the bracelet that she hadn't taken off since they had been together.

    Aleksander grinned half-heartedly. "You kept it?"

    "I loved you, Aleks. I still love you. But...you had a life. You...you dated Luda. I saw the two of you. She looked like a model, and I felt like I was the one that had ruined your life. You stopped football, and you became a lawyer."

    Aleksander sighed. "I didn't stop football because I wanted to stop football."

    Alina bit her lip. "I heard. It was your shoulder, right?"

    Aleksander nodded. "I might have lied about how bad that it was because I was so determined to get scouted. And I was...."

    "You were what?" Alina asked.

    He hesitated. "When I was on the football team, I got addicted to pain pills. I was using them to push through the pain, and then eventually it got to where I couldn't get through games without them. They kicked me off, and I had no where else to go, so I ended up going back to my mom and she made me go to law school and work for her practice again."

    Alina frowned. "Are you still working with her?"

    Aleksander shook his head. "I stopped working for her. I'm uh, I'm working for a non-profit law firm."

    Alina raised an eyebrow. "A non-profit law firm?"

    "Yeah. We mostly help with like, eco things," said Aleksander.

    She smiled at him. "And you're happy doing that? I thought you wouldn't be happy unless you had a bunch of money."

    He grinned. "I am happy, for the most part. You want to know the only thing that doesn't make me happy?"

    "What's that?" Alina asked.

    "You," Aleksander said, "I don't have you, Alina. And I know---I know we fucked it up the first time. But I think we deserve a second shot to be together. Don't you think we deserve a second shot to be together?"

    Alina smiled. "That's the thing, Aleks. I don't think we fucked it up. Other people fucked it up for us. You were always the only one for me. I want you, always. I promise."

    "I promise, too."