Bunny Boy~

But I Wish Kacchan loved me...

~Horribly edited and a little shorter so sorry. Also next chapter will be a dream world one.~

"Kacchan loves someone else?" Izuku questioned

He racked his brain trying to remember Katsuki mentioning someone else after or before Yo, but he's coming up blank. Katsuki loved someone and Izuku had no idea. No idea at all and honestly, that hurt. Izuku knows it selfish, but he felt betrayed that Katsuki didn't tell him he liked someone else. Of course it's not his business necessarily, but he tells the blonde everything- mostly everything and Katsuki just gives him large crumbs.

Why didn't the taller tell him? Did he not trust Izuku? Was he not comfortable enough with Izuku to tell him? Did all his other friends know? No. Stop. Katsuki doesn't owe Izuku anything. Even if it does make him sad the blonde is allowed to not tell him things.

Izuku doesn't like the word hate. It't a vile word that often used as an excuse to treat people badly. Oh you hate someone? Well instead of just leaving them alone why don't you continuously hurt them and let them know you hate them right? Yea, that's what most people do.

That why green hero never uses it unless he truly feels it's needed. Well he hates you, he hates when Katsuki keeps things from him, and he hates that he hates it. He hates the feeling twist in his gut and the rage is lights in him. Especially when it's got nothing to do with him.

Izuku sighed he really is selfish sometimes. It's none of his business and Katsuki doesn't owe him any answers yet he feels... jealous when he has no right to be. Jealous that Katsuki loves someone that's not him. It's wrong because Katsuki doesn't even know Izuku likes him. He doesn't even have a chance to accept or reject the green haired hero yet the smaller is still jealous, still hates that Katsuki didn't tel him that he loves someone.

Though if he did it would surly hurt Izuku more that not telling the blonde he loves him. And there in lies the catch. If he tells Katsuki he loves him and the blonde rejects him, Izuku will be hurt. Katsuki might not want to be friends with him anymore then it'll be like their middle school days all over again. If he never tells Katsuki and the taller falls in love with someone else then Izuku will be just as hurt. Katsuki will move on with his life leaving Izuku behind where he will never be able to catch up and walk beside him. Someone else will be in that place.

And there there lies Izuku's greatest fear. Loosing his Kacchan. Someone that's he's tried so hard to catch. Someone that is always just out of reach yet still at arms length. Just someone he's loved for too long that if he realized he couldn't love Katsuki anymore it might just break him. It's an endless cycle of torture seeing the beautiful mad every day knowing that one day Katsuki won't be his anymore. If Katsuki was ever even his in the first place.

Izuku sniffled and wiped his eye harshly.
"Such a damn crybaby." He could hear Katsuki say in his head and that made him let out a wet laugh. The blonde always teased him for being so emotional. Well not always, but if he cried over little things then he would. He really misses Katsuki. Misses him so much which is why he's got to finish reading this journal instead of crying his eyes out over something so petty.

The green hero took a deep breath and read the next entry. Katsuki needs him so he needs to do this.

"Well I showed up to Deku's crying like a goddamn baby. He offered to take me out for drinks and I was pretty shitty to him when I said no. He was just trying to help like he always does and I felt bad for swatting his hand away like I did. I had too much shit going through my head and the media was hounding me more than Hound Dog did back in high school. I just wanted to be left alone so I was pretty damn happy when I got home except everything reminded me of Yo and I broke down. I was trying to keep my shit together, but like always and after a while, I broke. I needed someone. Someone who wouldn't judge me, make fun of me, or expect anything from me. I just needed someone to listen and to be there. So I went to Deku and he gave me what I needed. He always does." Sincerely, Me.