𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒐𝒏 ➼ 𝒋.𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒔

eighteen ;

jonathan brandis

what have i done? i shouldn't be doing that to her! i mean i really do like her but it's not your first move jon! stop being stupid! i never thought she's going to kiss me back when it's offscreen but i was wrong . i do have feelings for her in real life, not just as lucas who loves camila but as myself who loves my own cousin . jonathan brandis you should say something to her tomorrow . i mean she left the car with the 'oh my god' look . i'm so terrified that she's not going to talk to me anymore . i got home and put the car keys on the table . weird, mom and dad are dressing up . where are they going?

'oh jon! thank god you're home, today is erene 7th's birthday! remember?  we should go to grandma's because she'll have the celebration there' mom says and i nod .

i get in my room for a quick change . great, now im going to see Lia again . what should i say to her? should i say sorry? its not a perfect time yet for me to tell her or my mom about my feelings towards her . i know, she might loves leonardo dicaprio because man , that guy is way better than me . i take a long my script and go downstairs . my mom is asking me about the scene that i've done today . i don't even answer her . now we are on our way to grandmom's . oh god how im scared to see her now . to be honest , she is such an incredible person . she have the softest voice and the best person to make an eye contact with . i never thought that kissing her is not just a normal kiss like the other girls casts that i've kissed . she's different . i am truly in love with her since we started to be on set together for seaquest .

*

i get in my room for changing my clothes . mom tells me that erene is going to celebrate her birthday tonight . i don't want to go but i also don't want to break erene's heart for not coming to her birthday party in fact i already had her birthday present . i do my hair and put a bit makeup on me then yeah im done . i stares at my script and i remember the way jonathan kissed me on set . am i in love with my own cousin? stop Lia what are you thinking! you're just so tired ughh.

'LIA HURRY!' i hear mom is calling me and i quickly go downstairs .

i am truly nervous to go to the party because jonathan will be there, i mean our whole family watch seaquest and i remember when there was a scene where lucas were supposed to kissed camila but she's just ditching it . everyone went out like 'WOW YOU GUYS ARE ABOUT TO KISS!!' . i was shy , i never even know how to describe my feelings on that time what the hell . my mom kind of seeing the weirdness in me today . i didn't even talk to her since i was back home . she is telling me stuffs about the song recording but all i do now is thinking about jonathan . am i really bad at kissing? does the girl who played christine is better ? oh go off lia , he doesn't like the way you kissed him . we already arrive at grandmom's and im scared . god please why im so nervous , im not even going to meet my boyfriend . wait we broke up few years ago never mind .

i walk out with erene's birthday present in my hand , my mom walks in and i do too . i can see everyone are here, i guess my mom and i are the one who lates . erene runs to me and hugs me .

'LIAA! I MISS YOUU!' she says and i put the present on the table then hugs her back

'you know i watch your show with jonathan its the best! like i wanna meet the fisshh!' she says and i laughs .

'you will meet the fish soon i promise' i smiles and she jumps with joy .

i swear even though she's seven but she still a six years old to me , i kind of love spending my time with her sometimes when i visited her place . i mean she's awesome .

'oh richard is here!' she then goes to my other cousin and they starts to talk .

i sit alone, on the sofa and meanwhile everyone are having the talks . weird,i never avoid things like this but why im acting weird today . i cant even understand myself right now . my mom is talking to aunt Mary , meanwhile my other aunties are there too talking to them . i feel that someone sit right next to me at the sofa . i don't even mind about that .