𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒐𝒏 ➼ 𝒋.𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒔

thirty;

jonathan brandis

after she kissed me , she left . haven't seen her in months . im glad we are finally seeing each other again because of the same movie that we are gonna be in . well , its exciting for me because i can play another role with her as best friends . to be honest, i just want to know when she's going to tell me the truth about her feelings towards me . how am i suppose to let her tell the truth about her feelings towards me . Lia, i need to know the truth . i mean, i cant even stay away from you . my heart is like something else when we are together . oh my god, i cant believe that im still in love with her even though it's been years .

*

i get home and see mom left me a note . well , she's already left to Toronto for some tour stuffs . im gonna spend my whole week at home alone but never mind, i guess i'll ask jonathan to stay with me for couple days . i don't know but maybe i ask him maybe i don't . soo yeah who knows . i am trying to cook some pasta for dinner but i don't know how its gonna taste . oh great! how can i forget that jon is coming over tonight! ugh, i need to make sure this pasta taste good before jonathan hates me .

I finally manage to cook after an hour . great . i think my food taste good . okay all i need to do now is wait for jonathan . i don't know but i swear i cant wait to see him really . i mean my feelings towards him grows each and every seconds . i cant even like avoid him even though i feel like i want to . ugghhh. i then hear the knock on my door . i open it and see him smiling at me . cute <3 ! my heart cant handle his cuteness sometimes hehe . we then eat the food . he keeps giving compliments about the food .

 im becoming a shy person because THE COMPLIMENTS OH MY GOD . he helps me with the dishes right after we had dinner . laughter , thats all that fill us the whole day . i never even like having bad day when im with him to be honest . when im with him, i feel like my life is complete by living . i don't know why but yeah thats how i feel . we then go to my room for the script rehearsal . jon sits on my bed right next to me and i sit next to him .

'i cant believe we are gonna be in a movie together again' jonathan smiles and i smiles back 

'yeah. i cant believe it either . i mean being in a movie with you is the best thing that ever happen in my life hehe . i can see your work and you can see mine' i says and he chuckles while nodding

'that's correct' he then looks at me .

 i do look at him too .look at that, he's getting like the changing in his style, his hair is still the same hair that i adore since the day one , the smile that i love since forever and the eyes that i really love to stare at since we first had our onscreen kiss . he's growing up, so am i but the feelings that i have towards him will never going to change since the first day i love him not as a cousin . 

jonathan then kisses me, like really passionate . oh my god, my heart is beating so fast . the way he kisses me is really different than leo's kisses or river's . jonathan's kiss is different . i just want more- more than a cousin can be but why does my heart don't want to let him know the truth . jonathan and i slowly lay down . he kisses me , again and again . i swear i want to tell him the truth now because he's trying to make me do that . oh my god .

'jonathan hey' i says and we stop kissing .

 'are you sure about any of this?' i ask him and he nods

'lia, im madly, in love with you . you know that don't you?' he ask and i nod .

'but don't you think we are going a little bit far than before ? i cant-' i says and he stares at me .

'i cant imagine it' i continues and he looks upset .

'my whole dream is wanting you to be a part  of my life lia .' jonathan says and i stroke his hair

'i know but can it be possible?' i ask and he looks away

'wait so you're trying to say-'

'im not gonna say that it wouldn't work out babe, but i just want to ask you, what do you have in mind' i ask

'you call me babe' he says at first and i feel like i want to cry because i do love him

'cousins can call each others that too right?' i says and he nods

'can you just be honest with me . its about your diary' he says and i quickly straighten up my postion

'do you love me as a cousin or more lia?' jonathan ask and i look away . my eyes aren't on him . never .

'jonathan its-' 

'its what lia? look at me' he says and i look at his blue ocean eyes that fits mine aswell .

'i know im not like leo, i know i might not having the best hair and looks like him . i understand how much do you love him but why do you need to lie in your diary by saying the boy is me?' jonathan ask and i feel like i want to throw up, because its my diary-my secrets and oh my god .

' wait, did you touched and read it? when i was sleeping few years ago?' i asks and he nods .

'yeah lia . i've read it . i just thought you're not going to write something about me but i was wrong' he says and i feel like im gonna cry 

'jonathan i swear i can explain everything' i starts to like hold my tears.

'its okay . i know how important leo is to you lia' he continues and i hold his hands

' LEO AND I ARE NOTHING OKAY? WE BROKE UP ! PLEASE LISTEN TO ME' i says and wipe my tears .

'jonathan please dont do this to me' i begs and he still stares at me . 

'ive waited for you like for years lia' jonathan says and i can feel my tears falls down .i then couldnt handle it and more and cry . oh my god,what have i done to him? ive messed up everything . he then pulls me into his hug and stroke my hair . 

'hey im just joking okay? i would never going to say any of those things to you . look dont cry lia,i love you okay?' he says and i look at him .

'i know jonathan' i then kiss him again . we like spend the nights talking and fall asleep in eachother's arms . i hug him because i just want him to know how much i love him . i love you jonathan . i do love you .