𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒐𝒏 ➼ 𝒋.𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒔

twenty two

i can't sleep . my mind is a mess . i keep thinking about alex and i feel bad . i feel bad for not telling jon and i feel bad that alex is my co star again . why im crying? why im shaking? oh my god . i reach the phone and dialled jon's number . please pick up i need you . please please 

.'h-hello' he answers

'im sorry if i wake you up c can you come over?' i cry

'no no its okay? whats wrong lia? i'll be there in fifteen minutes, wait' he says and hung up the phone .

i sit back on my bed again and cry . i couldn't imagine how long alex is going to be on set? how long im going to fake everything there? i can't bare with it anymore . i have reached the bare minimum of myself  right now. i swear, he will be going to find a way to talk to me meanwhile i can't even say no to him . oh Lia what happen . i go downstairs and sit on the couch . im waiting for jonathan to arrive . i hear a knock on the door and i opens it . he even had the time to get dress in my favourite colour on flannel's that he owns .

'hey what happen' he ask and comes in. 

i tell him to follow me to my room and he did , he gets in and i close the door . he put his car keys on my desk and sit on my bed . 

'what's wrong lia?' he ask softly and i lay my head on his shoulder with my tears .

'i need to tell you about alex' i says and he looks at me

' you can tell me anything okay? let's talk about this slowly . i want you to calm down and then we talk yeah?' he says and i nod .

'actually alex wasn't just my onscreen boyfriend back where we were in that show together,' i start and he looks at me .

'he's also my offscreen boyfriend back in four or five years ago' i says and jon stays in silent. i bet he's disappointed with me, again. 

'no one knows, except aunt miranda, she knows when she realised that he always come over to me house . we broke up, right after i got the replacement for my roll and the rumours of us breaking up were every where, i know you've seen it too but it's impossible for you to believe it was true' i says and jonathan holds my hand .

'i know you're upset because i didn't tell you , but believe me we have nothing now .' i says and he smiles 

'i believe you, and i promise you, i'll always , be by your side , and always going to be with you onset . you need to let me know if he is into something towards you okay? i know it's hard seeing your ex boyfriend on set with you but lia, we have to work . look, camila is not going to end up with mike but she's going to end up with lucas . i promise, after seaquest we'll have fun . just you and me . okay?' jonathan comforts me and i laughs 

'but he wanted to talk to me about our past three days ago when he had his first day on set . he also has been questioning me about the kissing scene between camila and lucas but all i did was walking away and head to your car . that's why i ended up crying . i was, stressed out . i hate my self a lot' i says and jon looks at me .

'hey , don't you dare say that again! that is not a good solution by hating your self due to that pathetic man. look,  even how hard our life is lia we need to continue what chapters that have been written for us . i promise, there are a lot of people that love you lia , i love you . please, stop thinking about that . throw the thoughts away.' he pulls me into his hug and kisses my forehead .

OKAY-I-JONATHAN JUST-WAIT- 

'i just dont know what alex wants from me jon,seriously,i want to skip my job for days but i think about you and the other crews . ugg' i says and jon smiles 

'lia, i promise, i'll be with you tomorrow, everyday and until my last breath' he says and i smile

'jonathan' i call him and he smiles

'yeah?' he answers 'what are we, really?' i ask and he chuckles

'we are cousins, that are made to love and protect each other . we are the two stars that lost and need to find their own way back to each other' he says and i look at him .

i kissed him and he kiss me back. i never feel like i needed someone else in my life, i just need him , to be with me and make me happy . i love him as a cousin but why im getting comfortable by kissing him almost everyday now? why does my heart says that i love him more than that? why? we have some talks and i slowly fall asleep on his arm . 

jonathan brandis

she fall asleep in my arms, how can i leave ? its okay, she needs me , i have to stay for her . i love you lia, more than you can't imagine. you're the best thing that exist in the world and i can't even lose you . it is hard for me to explain these things to you right now but believe me lia, i'm not going to let anyone break your heart or makes you feel bad . i hate seeing you this way . i wonder, where's the lia that used to smile everyday? where is she? i need that Lia again . i can't believe she kissed me , just like that . when we were about to cast the first on screen kiss she was scared but now she doesn't . why? should i ask the same question like she asked me ? no i shouldn't, maybe she's just daydreaming , she's just having rough times thats all . i hold her hand and slowly close my eyes . i promise, i wont let anyone hurt you lia . i love you .