BREAK FROM TORONTO, HARRY POTTER.

CHAPTER SIX: "YOU HATE BLACK PEOPLE?"

CHAPTER SIX.

     Aveline sat in the kitchen, sipping on cold water. Ginny had just been sent off to bed and now Harry was to have his questions answered.

     Aveline felt eager to hear the answers and she didn't even know why. She technically already knew all the answers though her memory was a little shot.

     She hadn't read the Harry Potter books or seen the movies in about 5 years. Sure, she read fanfiction every now and then — she still found herself on All The Young Dudes TikTok ( which she made a note to ask Remus and Sirius questions related to it to see if it was real ). Occasionally, she would come across some headcanons that she liked — she also made a note to see if any of those were real.

     "Okay, Harry . . . what do you want to know?" Sirius finally asked.

     Harry took a deep breath, "Where's Voldemort? What's he doing? I've been trying to watch the Muggle News and there hasn't been anything that looks like him yet, no funny deaths or anything—"

     "That's because there haven't been any suspicious deaths yet," Sirius replied, "not as far as we know, anyway . . . And we know quite a lot."

     "More than he thinks we do anyway," Remus shrugged.

     "Okay, smarties," Aveline muttered to herself earning a weird look from Bill.

     "How come he's stopped killing people?" Harry asked.

     "Woooow, try to sound a bit happier about it?!" Aveline scoffed.

     "No, I— I'm glad he hasn't! It's just . . . peculiar," Harry exclaimed.

     "Because he doesn't want to draw attention to himself at the moment," said Sirius, "It would be dangerous for him. His comeback didn't come off quite the way he wanted it to, you see. He messed up."

     "Or rather, you messed it up for him," Remus corrected with a satisfied smile.

     "How?" Harry frowned.

     Aveline sighed, "this is why you're not a Ravenclaw."

     Harry looked mildly offended by this statement.

     "You weren't supposed to survive!" Sirius exclaimed. "Nobody apart from his Death Eaters was supposed to know he'd come back. But you survived to bear witness."

     "And the very last person he wanted to alert to his return the moment he got back was Dumbledore. And you made sure Dumbledore knew at once," Remus added.

     "Autism." Aveline said randomly.

     "I beg your pardon?" Remus frowned as everyone looked at Aveline.

     "What?" Aveline asked. "Oh, did I say that out loud? Yeah, you're all autistic. Every last one."

     Hermione's jaw dropped and Tonks raised her eyebrows in shock.

     "Anyway," Harry said, getting back on track, "what's the Order been doing?"

     "Working as hard as we can to make sure Voldemort doesn't carry out his plans," said Sirius.

     "How do you know what his plans are?" Harry asked hastily.

     "Calm down, sancho," Aveline said, "all thirsty and shit."

     "I'm not thirsty," Harry dismissed. Aveline deadpanned.

     "Dumbledore's got a shrewd idea," said Remus, "and Dumbledore's shrewd ideas normally turn out to be accurate."

     "I need him to get a shrewd idea as to why the fuck Voldy Nosey is trying to kill me," Aveline huffed.

     "I'm sorry, pardon? What did you just say?" Sirius asked.

     Bill, Arthur, Molly, and Ron looked relatively shocked and Harry raised his eyebrows.

     "Vol— repeat that?" Remus said.

     "Voldy Nosey?" Aveline quipped. "Oh, I've got a shit-ton of names."

     "Did you just mock . . . He-Who-Must—"

     "Baldy Voldy?" Aveline cut Ron off as Hermione gasped lightly. "Yes. Cause I hate that bald ass baby teeth bitch."

     Bill's jaw dropped.

     "That's enough," said Molly, "Aveline. Bedtime."

     "WOOOOOOW," Aveline yelled, "YOU HATE BLACK PEOPLE?!"

     "I'm sorry— what? No! I don't— Why would you ever— I don't hate anyone! Aveline, I didn't— Well, I simply—" Molly had turned as red as her hair as she stuttered and stammered and sputtered.

     Aveline cracked a smile, "i'm fucking with you. I know you don't hate black people. Calm down."

     Molly and Arthur stared at Aveline, bewildered. Sirius tried to hide his glee at seeing Molly so worked up and Remus thumped him on the forehead for it.

     "I'm tired anyway. Fill me in tomorrow?" Aveline asked as she stood up and walked out the kitchen.

TRIN,
PLS AVELINE UR SO FUNNY BAE