Blossoms of the Dark

LXXXII Selene: Ironic

I wouldn't go so far as to call the spare bedroom at the League's base I'm occupying as my bedroom.

Even though I've been sleeping there every night for the past few weeks.

And I receive late-night snacks in bed.

And I have it all to myself.

Alright, it is my bedroom.

At this point, I remember the route from the bar to the bedroom, but Kurogiri and Shigaraki like to escort me each night. I'm not complaining; I like the courtesy. Tonight Kurogiri escorts me.

Much to my delight, he has brought a bowl full of ice cream with him.

"Health-wise, it is not good to eat or drink something cold before going to bed, but we ran out of milk in the fridge, and I thought you would like dessert," he says.

I smile. "Regardless, I am happy. Thank you." I take the bowl from him once I am seated in bed.

But he doesn't leave. Instead, he pulls a chair and sets it beside the bed. He watches me eat. Feeling uncomfortable, I offer him a taste of the ice cream. He refuses.

"Tell me something, Selene. If you were presented the opportunity to live a new life or seek revenge for the life you live right now, which would you choose?"

"Should I assume I remember everything I have suffered through until now? Is this new life better than the one I'm living right now?"

"For your first question, if you wish. For your second, I do not know."

I contemplate for a few moments. "I would seek my revenge. One would think that my current life is so hellish that the only alternative would be a kinder life. But that's not necessarily true, is it? There must be hells that humankind could not have imagined. This new life might be one of those. It is a risk I'm not willing to take."

"But revenge is a risk, too, is it not? Probably even more uncertain?"

"It is. I might get killed. I might be incarcerated. Perhaps the dreadful possibilities of the new-life option will occur. But what I do know is that seeking vengeance will give me some sense of peace."

Kurogiri is silent, but his next question stuns me. "Are you seeking revenge for yourself or for the life you could have - should have - had?"

I don't respond to that immediately. "Does it make a difference? I'm not doing it for someone else. That's what matters most." Wishing to lessen the grimness, I jest. "Honestly, vengeance and other lives are not common topics discussed when one is eating ice cream. What brought this on?"

"Your spiel at last night's dinner."

Oh, yes. I'd like to forget that rather undignified moment. "Suicide for dinner. Revenge for dessert. What's next? Murder for tea? Don't get me wrong. Revenge is sweet, but ice cream is sweeter."

Kurogiri chuckles. "So bloodthirsty. So ambitious. So indulgent."

"All that and more."

I finish the ice cream, and Kurogiri takes the empty bowl away. "The odd thing about ambition is this: You can acquire it like a fever, but it is not so easy to shed."

I raise a brow. "Is this supposed to be another lecture on limiting my pride? If so, I don't want to hear it." Ironically, my last sentence is prideful enough.

"It's not a lecture. It's a warning," he says with humor. He looks down at the bowl. "Pride and ambition are like milk and sugar. Sweet, delicious, euphoric. They are intoxicating once you have a taste, and you consume more and more until you begin craving for them. Your appetite grows, never to be satiated. Eventually, you consume so much, they kill you. And revenge? It's the cream."