Blossoms of the Dark

CX Shouto: Beam

For all our effort invested in the Festival, all U.A. students received two days off school, not counting the celebration party that will occur on the school grounds tonight.

I make use of my first day to visit my mom.

"Huh? The-the hospital?" Fuyumi asks, justifiably shocked.

As I wear my shoes, she worries.

"What's this all of a sudden? Are you sure it's okay if you don't tell Dad, Shouto?"

"Yep," I answer.

"Why have you decided to go meet Mom now, after so long?" she calls out after me.

I don't have it in me to answer that question verbally. It was my very existence that drove her to her breaking point, so I didn't go see her. Mom is definitely still being caged up, by me, by Dad. So in order to use this body and give it my all ... to once again aim to be a hero ... I need to meet her again and talk about ... so many things.

My hand trembles as it hovers above the handle to Room 315. The other tightens around the stems of the autumn blue bellflower bouquet. I inhale and exhale deeply. You can do this, Shouto. I can do this. There's a chance, however big or small, that she won't shatter.

And she does shatter. She shatters in a different way.

I push the door open. My mom is sitting by the window, gazing outside, holding a picture in her hand. She turns her head at the noise of the door, and for the first time in years I see her face.

It's just like how I remember it. The white half of my hair, my grey eye are identical to her, only in color. Her medium-length straight hair is unbounded. Her eyes are somehow still innocent. Those same eyes well up with tears when she sees me. "Sh-Shouto?" she asks hesitantly.

"Hi Mom," I say, just as tentatively, my eyes welling up, too. Her tears pour forth, and her arms instinctively rise to touch me, but she pulls back after reconsideration. "Can I come in?"

She nods her head, without hesitation. I enter slowly, taking in the room. It's small, with a desk along one side and a single mattress bed on the other. There's little decor, but it doesn't feel sterile. She gets up from her stool, offering it to me, but I beckon her to sit back. I pull up the desk chair instead and directly face her. I remember the bouquet in my hand. "I brought your favorite flowers with me. At least, I think they're still your favorite."

"They are," she affirms with a gentle smile.

"I'll set them on the table for now."

The next moments are filled with awkward silence. Both of us are silently crying, and neither one of knows what to say, what to do. My own thoughts are roiling. Coming here was easier said than done. What do I do now? Years worth of trauma can't be discussed just like that. Mom must be having similar thoughts.

"How is school? I heard you attend U.A." Mom asks, the first to break the silence.

We both find a hook to attach onto, and we take it.

"It's okay. Despite being a prestigious hero academy, it's not too different from primary school. Crowded hallways, average cafeteria meals, and lots of homework. How are you, Mom?" I respond.

Hearing me call her 'Mom' makes her look happier. "I'm doing fine. The hallways are not so noisy, and the food is decent. I can eat whenever I like. Every Friday night, the staff set up a movie for the residents in the conference room. Other nights there are interactive activities. I attend occasionally. But do you have fun? Have you made any friends?"

"Yeah, I guess. There is a girl whom I have befriended. She gives good company and makes school not so dull," I answer. But as an afterthought, I say, "But Fuyumi and Natsuo have probably already told you this when they came to visit."