Blossoms of the Dark

CLXXXII Selene: Darkness

Trigger Warning:

- rape

- blood

- gore

- mutilation

- death

- burning

- stabbing

- depressing thoughts

- crude language

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It is a cloudy night.

Unsuspecting, inconspicuous, and unassuming.

A perfect cover to conceal the moonlight and starlight.

A brilliant disguise for the darkness that awakens at night.

I cannot help but marvel at nature's ability to conceal secrets when my own life is an amalgamation of them. This night will be another of one of those secrets.

Today marks the New Year.

And in the Hanada household, we celebrate it by raping the girl in her own bed.

Ever since the engagement, Hanada-sama's eldest son's hormones have been very active. He was always guided by what was in his pants; during the winter break, more so. During the daytime, I assisted in wedding preparations, meeting with guests, essentially serving as a tool for political and financial gain. At night, it was a different story. In the late hours, I was entertainment for these same people in bed. This useless collection of skin and bones on top of me was the most excited by the prospect.

I heard he had an argument with one of the event planners today. It must explain why he is taking out his frustration onto me.

He is relentless. His fingers dig into my skin. Any harder and my eyes will prick with the sting of tears. His face is buried in the slope of my neck, biting, pulling, tearing. My intuition tells me not to goad him tonight, otherwise, the torture may be more than I can handle. As he continues to seek pleasure from my body, I let my mind drift to something else. I have to. Otherwise, I'll succumb.

And yet, the first thought to come to mind is guilt. Guilt for the boy I love and can never have.

Shouto deserves someone so much better than me. All the reasons why spiral in my head like a tempest. The massacre I committed is the latest; the things I will do in the future become more. Most people make a mistake and learn to not repeat it. What does it say about me, who knows what she is doing is unforgivable, but continues to do it again and again? What kind of monster does that make me? Perhaps the worst kind ...

I pause there. If I were the most evil being in existence, what did that make my tormentor? What did that make Hanada-sama? What did that make all the other people who assaulted me? I am certainly no saint, but there was no way they were on the same level as me. And from how Shigaraki and Kurogiri reacted, they were beneath me because they were beneath the two of them.

Kurogiri ...

I hadn't thought of that name in so long. Though Shigaraki would never admit it, he missed him. Truth be told, I did, too. He was the best approximation of a good father figure in my life. Like mine, his hands were stained with blood. But he took care of me like a daughter. I wonder how he is faring in Tartarus ... The idea is farfetched, but what if we retrieved him from there? A naive hope, I know. But I owe him a life debt.

A few more passing thoughts later, my torturer speaks. "After my marriage," he grunts as he comes inside me, "Don't think this will end."

Of course, it won't, you vile creature. Not once did I believe it would.