Blossoms of the Dark

CLXXIII Shouto: Abuse

Trigger Warning:

- seeking help for a victim of abuse

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Selene is not at the boarding house.

I open my phone to call and message her.

That is when I see the date.

Today's Sunday.

Meaning that she is at the Hanada mansion for the entire day until she returns this evening.

I look out the window of my room. The sun is high in the sky. Evening is hours away. But it seems like it's an eternity away. I have no idea what her current state is. Should I text her and ask if she's all right? I go on the phone locator app for any indication of her location. The last place it shows is the mansion, from this morning. Otherwise, her present location is not showing. Her phone is shut off.

I want to hope for the best. However, the past few experiences with something like this have me on guard. I send an innocuous text, praying to get a response soon.

My fears start to amplify. I change out of my clothes and prepare for a shower to calm my nerves. The hot water assuages some of the tension. It allows me to think a little clearly about what to do.

Since the enactment of the dormitories, Selene returns there every weekend. She returns on Sunday evenings with no physical injuries I can see. But I can see the lifelessness in her eyes. It's small. Yet it accumulates. That silver glow I love dims to a dark grey. Then I make it my mission to cheer her up. It takes a while, but that glimmer returns.

However, this happens every week. Each time, it takes a little more time to bring her back.

If this keeps going on, what if I cannot liven her?

I cannot sit by idly as her abuse continues.

I try to recall if there was anything that made Dad stop actively scaring me and my family. Nothing comes to mind. After Touya's death and Mom's rehabilitation, Dad became more invested into training me and pursuing the Number One seat himself. Then circumstances changed, and by the time middle school ended, he stopped his torturous regimens. The abuse was something that ended with time, but left lingering effects.

It is not the same with Selene's case. I believe that instead of lessening, it is simply increasing. Given that she's from a rich family, she stands to lose a lot if the Hanada secret comes out. Hanada-shi and his sons will be punished, but she will face harsh criticism as well. After all, there are bastards who blame sexual abuse on the victim instead of the perpetrators. It's not so simple, where she can leave the family and never look back.

And that, combined with the threat from the misogynists at the bookstore ... she might not even be secure at school.

So after I come out of the shower, I return to my room and search online for ways I can help her beyond what I am doing now.

Some of the things mentioned in the results are actions I am already performing. Listening to her; calming her down; being supportive of the fact that she is trying to communicate with me; understanding her fear; exhibiting patience; telling her again and again that she is safe with me, verbally and physically. I love her, so I want to do everything in my power to care for her.

So when I read about other things I can do, I make a list. One of them talks about complimenting the abused person. I reflect on my conversations with Selene. The hand-wringing and self-derogatory comments are signs of her low self-esteem. I do encourage her, but maybe I should praise her more often. After all, she doesn't realize just how brilliant she is. Maybe then she can begin to truly love herself. This is the first idea I write on the list.

The next interesting thing these websites state is to call a helpline and inform the police. I'll admit, it is good advice. But then again, the problem is that she is the ward of an influential man. He will hire the best lawyers and purchase the silence of the authorities. It's not a viable option for her. Even Ahearn-san, who is a legal officer, could not fully help her. I should get her contact information, though. I add a side note on the paper.

Perhaps the most effective thing I can do is create a safety plan with Selene. If her crisis worsens any moment or she decides to leave, she will need a place she can go to as soon as possible. Abused people are at a significantly greater risk of being killed if they try to escape their abuser is a unanimous statistic amongst all the websites. We could set up a safe word. Maybe pack a bag with necessities, cash, and important documents. Come up with guaranteed emergency contacts. If Selene is okay with it, I should talk to my siblings about the possibility of letting her stay. I'd rather she not move from one household of pain to another, but it is the best I can do for now.

I turn my phone off.

Then I open my sketchbook and uncap the fountain pen Selene gave me on my birthday. It is of excellent quality. Wide or thin, every stroke is masterful. Black ink flows through the point into the paper. Light reflects off it before it seeps into the paper. I've done this hundreds of times, it is second nature to me. Up. Down. Left. Right. Diagonal. Curve. Line. Within minutes, I have an outline prepared. An hour later, the sketch is complete.

A black-and-white portrait of Selene.

I focused solely on her face. The contours and the fine details. I paid the most attention to her eyes because they were her most striking physical feature. Her hair lies unbound, and her head rests in her folded arms. She smiles softly. At first glance, one would think she's lost in a pleasant memory. But I know better. I could not hide the anguish cemented in her. She is not thinking about something sweet. She smiles in sadness in an attempt to conceal her misery. A misery I wish I could erase.

I pull out the box where I keep all my drawings of her. It is almost full. Pulling out the other sketches, I compare them with the one I just made. There is the reiterating theme of pain. No matter how momentous the occasion, a trace of melancholy lingers in each one of them.

I return all the portraits in the box, my newest one on top.

Placing the box where I picked it up from, I make a promise to myself.

One way or another, I am going to protect you Selene.

From the Hanadas, from Miyamoto Akutenshi, and from anyone who poses a threat to you.

I'll a find a method.

I swear.

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Image URL: https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/l1EjPfOikGBKvnscoM09PwdrAZJLd7-N9-cqajLP0LcYf6zb8BrosHRI1bZXarzwV2zRJ8d0jiTkf_Ouv3jtrzYE8W4ev5FI90FCKDe0