Trigger Warning:
- PTSD nightmare
- crude language
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The dream starts innocently enough.
In the dream, I am sitting on the edge of the pier beside Shouto-kun. It is nighttime, the sky is bright, the water is clear, and the fragrance of night flowers is euphoric. I read beneath the moon and stars while he draws. The tranquility is soothing. He gets up and offers his hand to pull me up. My hand - my bare, ungloved, unbandaged hand - reaches to take it. But the instant we make contact, something from the pond grabs my ankle and pulls me under. My hand slips from his as I plummet deep down. He falls to his knees, calling out my name. But the water distorts the sound and his face. I flail and struggle to escape. Little moonlight penetrates the dark waters. Eventually, everything turns black.
The object lets go. I sink and sink. Somehow, the pond has turned into the ocean. There is no bottom at all. But I do not drown. I can breathe. I can swim. Amongst this nothingness, I seek something. Anything. Anything that represents safety and home to me. I do not know how long I keep swimming, but when a white, shimmery light appears above, I swim toward it. The moon. My moon.
But that thing that dragged me under returns with a vengeance. More slimy, scaly, serpentine creatures pull at my arms and legs. Cover my eyes. Grab my throat. Pinch my nose and shut my mouth. The light fades. The blackness returns. And then those things whisper terrible truths in my ear. Traitor. Whore. Wretch. Bitch. Vermin. Slut. You think you deserve happiness? You think you have any right to feel pride? All you do is hurt others, you monster! You broke Shigaraki's trust. You failed Kurogiri's expectations. And for a long time, you have disappointed your dear Shouto-kun. He is not your friend. He only talks to you because he pities you. But you don't even deserve that much. I twist and writhe, not wanting to hear any more. Then the creatures sing a morbid rhyme.
Little miss moony thought she was lovely,
Though her life was an utter tragedy.
Little miss moony thought she was lonely,
So she made a friend happily.
Little miss moony thought she was sneaky,
She joined the ranks of villainy.
Little miss moony thought she was tricky,
And she betrayed herself most splendidly.
I jolt upright. My hands are clawing at my neck. I remove them. My heart. It's pulsating like a drum. My breaths. They're so shallow. I curl into fetal position and cry. The voices do not stop. That sick rhyme echoes in my ears. And they're not wrong, either. I did all of those things. I am all of those things.
I glance at my alarm clock. 3:30 a.m. That means it must be around 5:30 p.m. in London. On weak legs, I stumble to my desk and turn on my computer. Perhaps Madam is home. I wait for her or anyone to answer the video chat call as I furiously rub my tears away. Ourania accepts. She looks cute with her caramel pigtails. And she is ecstatic to see me.
"Good morning, Selene! Or is it night? Your room is so dark," she squeals.
"Oh! I forgot to turn on the light." I hurry to do just that. "And technically, it is morning here. Good evening to you, Ourania."
YOU ARE READING
Blossoms of the Dark
RomanceHanada Selene. Todoroki Shouto. Two troubled souls living troubled lives. But they somehow find solace within each other. They first met in a dream, and later again in real life. Both of them were initially wary of each other. But with time, the...
