Blossoms of the Dark

LXXXIV Selene: Therapy

I huff, "I should have known this would be the result of being honest."

"What do you mean?" Kurogiri asks.

I give a look, not wishing to elaborate. "What will you do now? Break your promise and tell Shigaraki and All for One? Or perhaps kill me here and now? Better yet, will you go through your original plan of exploiting my trauma?"

Kurogiri's voice suggests that he can't believe that I would think such a thing. "Of course not. I'm a man of honor, Selene. I keep my promises. If you consider my advice, you have two options. Either apologize to him and resume your friendship or kill him and make it look like an accident. I would choose the second option if I were you."

I wasn't expecting him to say that. "How? I told you his life is in danger, and he hates me. I made him hate me."

"Selene, he's the son of the Number Two Pro-Hero, aspiring to be a Pro-Hero. His life has, and always, will be in danger. If not by your foster family, then by the League and other criminals."

"But what if he is hurt by the Hanadas? I will have been responsible for that. Kurogiri, I know that as a critical member of the League of Villains, I should be prepared to assassinate anyone. And I'm willing to assassinate anyone except him."

Kurogiri tilts his head. "Why? Why is he the exception?"

Why? That's an excellent question. "I don't know why. Maybe because I met him before I met you. Maybe because he was the first person who treated me as an actual human being. Maybe because he was the first person I felt safe with in nearly a decade."

After a pause, I add, "He is the exception to many things."

Kurogiri is silent for a minute. "And you don't feel the same with us?"

I frown. "Am I expected to feel safe performing a job where I could get caught if I drop my guard and death is a very likely possibility?"

"You make a solid argument," he placates. "Back to the original matter. I witnessed his prowess at the U.S.J. Even for a first-year with a few weeks of training, he's remarkable. Prodigal. He will be able to handle his own."

"That still leaves the potential threats from the Hanadas and his resentment," I point out.

Kurogiri shakes his head. "If his behavior toward you is anything to go by, he feels like he must hate you, but he doesn't want to. You meant something to him, perhaps just as much as he meant to you."

I don't believe it. "How can you be so certain?"

"You told me that he searched for help when you had a traumatic relapse. That was before the argument. Then when training ended and Bakugou held you back, he stayed behind as well. That was after the argument. Also, he helped you on the train ride and stood up for you in the changing room, and he used to take flowers from your hair before and after."

"He said that he only stayed back and helped me because it was the right thing to do, and he only took flowers to remember me with hate," I counter.

"Are you sure? Someone who loathes you wouldn't want to see your face, let alone take flowers from you or stay for you."

"What do you mean? I loathed all the men I had killed, and yet I wanted to see their faces to savor their horror as they died."

"Your hostility is different from his," he explains. "Your motive is pure, unfiltered revenge. His is not. He thinks it is revenge, but it's not because true revenge shouldn't hurt more than heal. Subconsciously, he doesn't want to let you go. He knew that you could stand your own against Bakugou; he knew that you could manage the train pervert by yourself; he knew that you could fend Mineta off; he knew that you were capable even with a cane. So why did he stay? Because he still cares for you. I observed at the U.S.J. that he is solitary, not the type to readily make friends. Despite that, you became his friend. You shared so many special moments with him, and he treasures them just as much, if not more, than you do."

His logic makes sense, but I'm still doubtful. More importantly, I don't wish to talk about his feelings anymore. "The Hanadas? What about them?"

Kurogiri pauses, clearly thinking. "When your prime tormentor returns, ask him about Todoroki. I'm sure you'll find a way to subtly bring him up. If my suspicion is correct, then he won't do what you think he will."

Hanada-sama wouldn't kill him and his family? That only raises my doubts even more, but I concede. "Is this really therapy? This conversation had less analysis of me and more of him. It's unconventional."

I can feel Kurogiri's smirk. "I'm a murderer, and you're a murderer. Nothing about our circumstances, lives, or us is conventional. So why should our therapy sessions be any different?" At my perplexity, he continues. "Selene, the point of this is so that you can take whatever happiness comes your way. You said that you might not live long, and you might be right. That's why I want you to accept whatever good thing comes in your life. You think that Shigaraki and I are, although I don't entirely agree with that, but this boy Todoroki is clearly much better than either of us.

"In fact, he's the best thing that ever happened to you. Don't let him go.

"You're clearly attached to him, and only him. I will not promise that I or Shigaraki will spare his life if we ever meet again. Furthermore, I will not promise that I won't kill you myself if you defy us for his sake."

"I know. I accept that," I reply.

Pleased with my answer, he continues. "So tread very carefully, Selene. Swallow your pride when you apologize to him and propose renewing your friendship. He won't accept it so easily, so don't force him."

"That's only possible if what you're saying about Hanada-sama is true."

"Then ask him, and once you get your answer, do it."

"You sound very confident. How are you so certain?"

"Selene, reading people is one of my specialties. In fact, it's so developed, it should be a quirk of its own. You should know that from our lengthy discussion just now."

Grudgingly, I agree. "True."

Kurogiri gets up and just before he leaves my bedroom, he parts with, "As much as I would like you to stay far away from that vile trash, get your answer. Then embrace your happiness."

Despite all my doubts, I feel a sense of relief.

There are too many risks, too many possibilities.

A part of me frightens at that fact.

Another part of me excites.

All of me feels anxious.

Could I truly, miraculously have a friend?

This question makes me fall asleep much later than I intended.

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