This is harder than I thought it would be.
Sketching dahlias from aerial view is no easy task.
Especially when dahlias consist of a series of parabolas in rings.
But writing the equations for each individual parabola would be a hell of its own for Hanada.
At the thought of Hanada, my mood shifts. During the few weeks since the end of our friendship, I took sick delight in jeering her. I was spiteful. Hateful. But now, it's different. It's tiring to keep this up. It's taxing to loathe her. My remarks give me satisfaction from her discomfort, but when that euphoria fades, I'm left with feelings of guilt toward her, resentment toward myself, and an overall feeling of unhappiness.
It's strange: I've seethed with revulsion toward Endeavor for years without feeling the least bit burdened, but it hurts to feel the same toward Hanada for weeks.
Just what is it about her that makes it hurt to hate her?
For my own sake, I should stop being so petulant and treat her the same way I treat the rest of my classmates. But I can't. I don't know how else to deal with my pain. Inflict pain on someone else to ignore your own pain. A common bully's tactic. A tactic I use whenever Endeavor gets on my nerves, which is almost daily. I want to be the furthest thing from a bully, but it's going to take something as riveting as our friendship's end for me to stop. Maybe if she asked to resume our friendship ...?
No, that's ridiculous. She ended it. Why would she want it back? And it's not like I would agree if she did. Would I?
I finish sketching the dahlia petals and begin to color them in. However, I don't know which color I should use. I open my computer and search images of dahlias for inspiration. Apparently, dahlias come in a variety of colors: reds, pinks, blues, purples, whites, burgundy. Those are way too many options. I look down at the graph paper and categorize the colors I've used and haven't used. Reds and pinks are in the lead. Some yellows and oranges, a few whites. I notice there is no blue. I'm about to fill in the petals with aqua blue, but at the last minute I look up the meanings of dahlias. Red for strength. White for innocence. Pink for grace. Purple for dignity. Blue for fresh starts. Burgundy for betrayal.
I'm tempted to use burgundy now. What's one more red amongst others? But what's the point?
I reach for the blue dahlia that is resting on my desk as my sketch reference. That was what inspired me to draw a dahlia playground structure.
Blue for fresh starts.
I desperately need one.
With her, my feelings betray me for an instant.
Desperate, I freeze all thoughts and feelings for Hanada.
Without further ado and contemplation, I color the petals of the dahlia aqua blue.
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Blossoms of the Dark
RomanceHanada Selene. Todoroki Shouto. Two troubled souls living troubled lives. But they somehow find solace within each other. They first met in a dream, and later again in real life. Both of them were initially wary of each other. But with time, the...
