Blossoms of the Dark

CXCI Shouto: Carnation

"Will you be my muse?" I ask her.

She stares at me, eyes wide and mouth agape, before replying.

"You may," she answers. "But may I inquire as to why?"

It is a good question. Since the first party we attended together, I have been making drawings of her without telling her. At this point, I have an entire sketchbook full of artwork of her. So why am I requesting permission now? I'm not too convinced myself, but I suppose I want to try out the oil paints she gifted me. And who would be a better test subject than someone I have practiced repeatedly on? The oil paint is the motive I provide her.

She hums in understanding, consenting more enthusiastically now.

So we return to the boarding house. The sky has begun to change from a sea of blue to an ocean of reds, oranges, and pinks. At the same time, Selene's hair loses a lot of black to fade into grey and white. Since her hair is up, the shades mix with one another, making it hard to discern where each color begins and ends.

I watch her adjust her scarf as we walk toward the train station. She has been fidgety since we left the hospital. I don't think my mom said anything harsh to her; she is not that kind of woman. But clearly they had some sort of exchange that is bothering Selene. I hope I can get her to tell me what it is. If not that, then at the least ease her mind somehow.

Once we arrive, I explain to her that I wish to paint a portrait of her. "Wear whatever you like, style yourself however you want. Though, I suggest you dress in something comfortable because this is going to take a while."

She nods and heads to her room. Meanwhile, I set up everything I will need in mine. I have neither a proper easel nor a canvas. But I have cardstock thick enough to sustain paint, and if I adjust some textbooks and the corner table around, I can create a makeshift easel. I wish I had a stool, but I guess I'll have to make do with a desk chair. The next question that arises is where should I paint Selene.

The rooms at the dormitory are not large enough to accommodate lots of furniture. There is my work desk, my rug, and my bed. My gaze lingers on the bed. The process is going to take a few hours, and I should take care that her arthritis does not incite. Not to mention, stretch the wounds on her back. Perhaps I should have her position on the bed ...

A blush creeps up the back of my neck. Sure, we have shared a bed many nights. Some nights hers, other nights mine. But there is something deeply more intimate about making her pose for a long period of time on an item representative of comfort and intimacy. Just imagining it is making me lose my cool. What will become of me when my fantasy becomes reality? Get a hold of yourself, Shouto.

A knock resounds on my door. I open it, and Selene steps inside.

I have to physically restrain my hand from reaching up to my neck.

With a Queen Anne neckline, trumpet sleeves beginning at the elbows, and a skirt flaring at the waist, Selene is dressed in a stunning white gown. It is simple, with no decorations or embroidery, except for one. The lapis lazuli pendant. It dangles from her neck, making the deep blue almost glow against the white background. Gloves and choker the color of her skin are almost unnoticeable. That is not all that catches my attention. Her hair is open, save for some bobby pins holding the tresses behind her face. And hiding those pins are flowers. Dark red carnations and snowdrops. I have rarely seen Selene wear the same set of flowers more than once, let alone wear different species at the same time. Yet she has done both. Alternating between red and white, the crown contrasts with the black and grey tones of her hair. The moon white ends are just a few shades lighter than the frost white of the gown.