Blossoms of the Dark

CXXXVI Shouto: War

I open my eyes and immediately shut them because of the bright sunlight outside.

How long have I been asleep for?

I recall the events leading up to now.

It is early June now.

Many things have happened in the week since ... since the gazebo.

According to Aizawa-sensei, those who failed at least one part of the exams would not attend the summer retreat, but that was an obviously calculated lie to push the students to do their best. Those who failed were excited to go, but they also dreaded the extra course load that would await them. Most of my classmates decided to go shopping together to celebrate. Midoriya invited me, but I told him that I had other duties, primarily visiting Mom. Then I heard that Shigaraki had the guts to walk around the mall and had a conversation with Midoriya, while threatening to take his life. The police were informed, heroes were alerted. And U.A. decided to change the location of the summer retreat and keep it a secret from the students.

So here we were now. Twenty-one teenage students and one exhausted teacher sharing a bus, going God knows where. Not a single seat was left unoccupied. Normally, the back of the bus would be causing a ruckus, the middle would be having conversation-level discussions, and the front would be quiet as a grave. Not this bus, though. Raucous laughter and shouts erupted everywhere. The mayhem started no less than five minutes into the ride, and Selene-chan frowned before pulling out her thermos and a book from her bag.

I was sitting next to her. "Are you all right? Is your agoraphobia worsening?"

She nodded and replied, "Knowledge is power. Ignorance is bliss. But right now, bliss seems like a wonderful option. Class 1-A is not exactly known for its calmness. I figured that things would become very uncomfortable for me soon into the bus ride, so I brought these in the hope that they would bring some relief."

"Actually, I think this would be a good opportunity to try getting out of your comfort zone a little." She looked at me, puzzled. "I'm not telling you to be as boisterous as everyone else. In fact, I would be more than concerned if all of a sudden you were. I'm just thinking that you can try having a conversation with me while imagining everything else as background noise." She looked away now and wrung her hands. "I want to help you, Selene-chan. Fear can be debilitating, and in the world of heroes, that can determine loss or victory. I know that loud sounds remind you of how close people are to you, and that people physically too close disturbs you. But you trust me, right?" She nodded again. "So trust me on this. We're future Pro-Heroes, Selene-chan. We devote our lives to the people. There will come many times when we have to interact with others. Remember, that's why Aizawa-sensei paired us for the practical exam. We're independent workers. But throughout the school year, I've come to realize how it necessary it is to be self-reliant but also have the capability to cooperate and strategize with others.

"Maybe it's because Dad works mostly solitary, too. He goes on very few joint missions, and even then, it's only with his employees. As much as I loathe to say it, I guess some of his ideology rubbed off on me."

"To work solitary?" she asked.

"Yeah. It'd be inaccurate to say that my thinking now has changed drastically. I still lean toward acting independently. But I've experienced the advantages and disadvantages to working in groups. And I cannot ignore them. The idea does not feel as tiresome to me anymore."

"That's good to hear ... but what does it have to do with facing my agoraphobia?"

"How much do you know about your fear? Like, tell me what exactly you feel and how it's triggered. I know I have some idea, but I want to hear it from you."