Blossoms of the Dark

LXXII Selene: Repent

Trigger Warnings:

- rape

- forced prostitution

- physical abuse: slapping

- misuse of kinks

- PTSD

- panic attack

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Announcement:

There has been some confusion about Selene. I've received questions about how one thing happens but Selene says something else. Or how Selene purposefully hides things from others. So, to clear the confusion, I am going to point out an important character trait of Selene. Selene is an expert liar. She deals with all kinds of lies out of self-preservation: outright lies, half-truths, lies of omission, etc. 

This chapter portrays one of Selene's half-truths. If you'll recall Chapter XLIX Selene: Kill, she murdered a politician who had a glass kink. That politician reappears in this chapter as part of a flashback. Selene told Shigaraki that Asahi, Selene's disgrace of a father, had made a deal with said politician, and she was the piece. That was a half-truth. Yes, there was a deal. But that was not all. The specifics will be described in this chapter. 

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Today marks the first day of no longer having to warm the bed with the Pro-Hero.

Today marks the first day of reprieve.

Today marks the day that I repent for what I did to Todoroki-kun.

When I arrive at the mansion, the bedroom is devoid of any men seeking pleasure from my body. There is a note, however, from Hanada-sama, detailing that my role was complete and that he would be out of the city for a week. That news should make me happy. A week of possibly no rapes. But I can't bring myself to. I am already hurting from breaking Todoroki-kun's trust.

I summon the diary from my interdimensional vault and begin to write.

October 6, 2034

I had dedicated this diary to write about the fleeting moments of happiness in my life. Those moments began when I somehow summoned the courage to offer my friendship to Todoroki-kun. Now, I write a story of heartache.

Today, I hurt Todoroki-kun. He was going to give me the lapis lazuli pendant, and I was going to accept it. But things spiraled out of control. That was my fault. It resulted in a traumatic relapse and another visit to the school infirmary. When I awoke, Todoroki-kun came in to apologize. He even promised that he would treat me better and help me overcome my trauma. He said that this would be his atonement, and I should forgive him only when he deserves it.

Contrary to his wishes of deserving forgiveness, I forgave him the moment he entered. But I rejected his help. His promise. I denied him of his atonement. Only because I was a coward. Only because I was afraid he would learn of my secrets.

The relapse I had was from my first rape. It was on the night of my fifth birthday, which came only a few months after I was adopted. Before that, I was treated like a princess. Lavish furniture, enormous beds, beautiful dresses, ice cream to my heart's content. Hanada-sama even gave me a little doll. It had color-changing long hair, full and rosy lips, silver eyes, and it wore a black and white flower homongi kimono. It was a little me. Most importantly, I felt loved. It was all that I hoped for and more from my foster father.

But that was an illusion. An illusion that shattered on my birthday. Hanada-sama had sold me for a week to a politician. He had made some illegal deal with the politician, and as backup, he planned on recording a video of the politician raping me in secret and then blackmailing him with the video. But I didn't know. I didn't know until much later. Until after the damage had been done. Such sweet words Hanada-sama told me before I had to enter the politician's bed chambers. "He won't hurt you. He just wants to give you a birthday present: to hug you the same way you hug your doll."